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Monday, December 30, 2013

Goodbye 2013 and A Look Ahead at 2014

2013 was a big year for me writing wise.  First, it was my most productive year in awhile at 180k words written and second, and even more importantly, I went from a nobody with only a handful of fans to at least a Double AA Writer with a few thousand fans.

Even, even more importantly:  I think I released my best novel to date in FM3.

It was a great, if hard fought year.  I feel like I'm on the cusp of breaking through into a more recognized status as a "real" author and not one struggling away on the fringes.  It helps that you Foul Mouths continue to be awesome with the honest reviews and the emails of encouragement and the blackmailing of family and friends into reading the series.  I sold 200ish short stories this month, that's crazy!  And people keep comparing me to Jim Butcher, that's even more crazy!

So, where are we heading next?

2014 is going to be a HUGE year.  Two novels at least, maybe three.  FM4 and "Rockets" are a sure thing.  Both books have 12 chapters finished at the moment, FM4 needs 9 more and "Rockets" needs 7 more.

For those not aware, FM4 is fully called "The Foul and the Headless Hunny" and as the name suggests, it's an Annie B focused novel.  It's also a vampire focused novel.  I'm pretty proud of how it's going so far, especially the continued disgustification of vampires from as far from sparkly goodie-goodies as I can get them.  The "school" timeline is also really fun, following Ceinwyn and King Henry on a recruiting road trip.  Hi-jinks ensue...

"Rockets" is a very different beast than the King Henry novels.  First of all, it's not character based, it's plot based.  It's basically me fucking with you and yanking your expectations back and forth for 300 pages.  Hope you guys enjoy it when it comes out, I'll probably post an unveiling of the title, the cover, and it's blurb in a few months leading up to the releases soon incoming.

The other possible novels that might make it into the year are FM5 (tentatively called The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist) and Gush.  If I have a really good writing year either of these books could slip in by December, if not then 2015 will have another double release at the beginning of the year.

Woe is you, the fan base, might only get 2 novels this year.

Also, I'm finally, kinda, half-assedly looking into creating Print On Demand versions of the Foul Mouth books through Amazon Createspace.

Big year incoming!  Wish me luck!  Back to writing!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

"Griefing" Novella Released

The beta readers finished early.  So, thanks to the glory that is Digital Publishing, here's "Griefing" a week earlier than I intended.  This is the first "short" (not so short this time at 20 thousand words) to completely be in King Henry's POV.  While not in the "Tape" format, it still has plenty of his character, I assure you.

I do mention it in an author's note but I'll also mention it here, that this story takes place during the School Timeline after FM3, so make sure you're all caught up if you don't want spoiled.  Also it takes place immediately after Session 6 in FM1, so if you want to refresh the mind on the situation, go reread that one.

Finally, let me say this:  if you are going to read one of the King Henry Shorts and only one of the King Henry Shorts, then read this one.

Cover:


Blurbage:
King Henry Price has just endured a horrible loss in his life. He returns to the Asylum adrift, unsure how to process the situation. But one thing is a constant: he's the Foul Mouth, he won't be grieving, he'll be GRIEFING, and it will be up to Ultra Class '09 to bear the brunt of the onslaught.
Linkage:

Griefing by Richard Raley at Amazon Kindle
Griefing by Richard Raley at Smashwords








As usual, the Smashwords process can take a few weeks to get the files out to Apple and Barnes and Noble, so I'll have those links when they're available.  Along with the Second Take links...which are taking forever...

Monday, November 25, 2013

"Second Take" Welf POV Novelette Released

Hey King Henry fans, I finally did it and got around to writing the long mentioned Welf POV story.  It comes in at about 14k words (or about 2 or 3 chapters worth of writing).  I'm pretty happy with it, it's got a few really good jokes and writing from a POV outside of King Henry is always a nice mirror to the experience.

Hope you guys/gals enjoy it and have a wonderful Thanksgiving...perhaps saving the story until after Thanksgiving dinner for use as a survival tool might not be a bad idea.  Especially if they throw you on Kiddy Table Orderkeeper Duty.

Cover:

Blurbage:
Most would say that for a fifteen-year-old just starting his second year at the Institution of Elements, Heinrich von Welf has the perfect life. First in his year, from a wealthy and influential family, his future prospects in career and in the heart are unmatched.
But he made one rather large mistake in his life: he made King Henry Price his rival. When Heinrich's younger sister Victoria joins him at school as a new student, King Henry is ready and waiting to make Heinrich's life one of constant terror about what the Foul Mouth is planning next.
Linkage:

Second Take by Richard Raley on Amazon Kindle
Second Take by Richard Raley on Smashwords

As always the Smashwords distribution process takes 1-2 weeks to get all the files out to Barnes and Noble and iTunes, so I'll have those links for you later.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Pre Holidays Update

We're heading in to the bestest, most awesomest time of the year and I thought I would update you lot since my last bit a few weeks ago was a wee dramatic about how the series would be changing.

So far, so good with the change.  I've already caught up with my word total from before I made the cut and have 10 and 1/2 FM4 chapters finished, which means we're exactly at 50% in the first draft.  Once again I must say I'm insanely positive about this book, in a way I'm usually never positive about books when I'm halfway through with them (usually there's rending of garments and smashing of heads against desks and walls and whatever flat surface is at hand).  Finally being able to take all the vampire inner workings from concept and placing it into a story has been very enjoyable and now that I'm working on the New New School Story with some non-filler Ceinwyn Dale focused goodness...well...you'll see.

I am a horrible tease, yes I am.

If you pay any attention to the status bar area of the blog you'll noticed that both KH Short 4 and KH Short 5 have disappeared, that's because they're mostly finished and will be sent off the betas next week.  "Second Take" the long planned Heinrich von Welf POV novella will be published some time before Thanksgiving, while "Griefing" will come out in December.

Writing as Welf was a nice change of pace, especially since he's the hero and King Henry is the villain as far as Heinrich is concerned.  It's also a proper introduction for his sister Victoria, who was briefly mentioned in FM3 but not fleshed out.  As for "Griefing", I think removing the weight of being a 8 chapter story across from what's coming in FM4 really improved it and let it be a solid 4 chapterish sized novella.

I'm currently working on "Rockets" since writing King Henry has the very bad effect of making me talk like King Henry and I actually have to have a full blown extended family Thanksgiving this year and I don't want to teach my littlest cousins new words.  So we'll stick with human on steampunk robot violence instead for the next couple weeks.

Again checking the status bar you'll notice I've put up a new work called "Gush" and listed it as a Fantasy Young Adult novel.  It's VERY much a Fantasy novel with required "cool" magic system and it is a Coming of Age novel with a 17 year old girl as the main character but it will be a Richard Raley written YA novel, so...make of that what you will.  I won't get very serious on it until after "Rockets" and FM4 are both well into editing so don't get too freaked out, please.

Anything else?  I'm writing REALLY well...33k already this month, so yeah.  If I can keep this up you guys will have lots of books from me in your future.

Friday, November 1, 2013

I Probably Shouldn't Be Telling You Guys This

I mean really...this is one of those situations where I could just shut up and you lot would never know.  I could be all mysterious and say "I planned it all like that"!  And before we continue:  please don't hyperventilate, it's all going to be okay.

So why write this and tell you guys what's up?  Well,  I also know what's it's like to be a fan sitting around waiting for the next novel in your favorite series to come out and have felt the frustration that comes from not understanding what the writer is up to.  Especially if novels are being released by said author that AREN'T in my favorite series (George RR Martin fan since 2001 here, please feel my pain!).

So I'm going to try to explain my thinking on what just happened with FM4 and with the whole King Henry Tapes series.  It basically has to do with the school timeline and my desire to not have it turn into filler story that you guys are going to be skipping to get to the really good stuff in the shop timeline.  (Aside:  I recently read Scott Lynch's new REPUBLIC OF THIEVES and I found myself doing this and thought...ruh roh)

When I originally decided on the series being 12 books, I knew the whole school timeline thing could give me trouble in the future.  I had to give myself room to work with, to either expand or contract it depending on how the novels ended up working and depending on how much I thought you guys would put up with.  That's why I spent a couple months working up a master timeline for King Henry's stay at the Asylum and then sketched out about a page or two outline for 13 different stories I could write in that window.

Some of these stories are really important and I knew they would reveal things that you guys would need to know for the mainline (like Meteyos' intro in FM2 as an example) but other ones I was less sure about.  Now that we're 3 books finished into the series we're approaching some of those questionable stories that I could tell you but do you really need 8 whole chapters on Russell Quilt's wedding and bachelor party?  And are you going to enjoy it when it's in a novel with the other timeline kicking so much more ass than some kids screwing around at the Asylum?  Or will you resent it and skip ahead?  And do I really want to spend the 2-3 months it would take writing it and give up the 30k-40k words of novel space that I could be using on the other timeline?

These are questions I've been asking myself since the start.  How far can I stretch the school timeline?  Should it go the whole series?  What to do, what to do?  Now that I'm in the middle of FM4 the beast finally needs confronting.

FM4's mainline story is shaping up to be...YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR ITS WONDERS!  But the school timeline story, the first of the "stretching" possibly filler stories I could have put into a book?  I've been having trouble with it.  First, it was planned that I'd go back and fill in details on King Henry stealing the Lady's staff at the end of year one (Sessions 17-24, that's right!  Taking place BEFORE the Winter War story in FM3, I skipped the damn thing and you didn't even notice, you horrible fan, you!).

But that didn't work out.  It felt like going backwards and...it just wasn't big enough.  Or interesting enough.  And it didn't introduce any new characters or tell you any info you needed to have.  It was filler and that's when I first confronted this problem with the realization that the 13 possible stories I could tell were overkill.  I don't want filler guys, I don't want to write filler, and I don't want to push filler out on you.  The only thing worst than not getting a timely book by your favorite author is getting a book from your favorite author that feels like filler...and a paycheck.  When you have a subplot about Raj getting some from Naomi...ya know you're in trouble...

So, deciding that 17-24 weren't worthy and unneeded I took another look at my 13 possible school timeline stories and removed some chaff.  We dropped down to 10 left.  I decided I'd try the story of King Henry getting over his Mom's death post Session 6 from FM1 and I wrote 4 chapters and...it's just not enough.  It's getting killed by the mainline in FM4 because the mainline is awesome and...YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR ITS WONDERS!

So here I was...a few days ago.  FM4 half done...4 written in the school, 7 in the shop, one was a breeze to write and so enjoyable and everything I could hope for and the other...was a pain in the ass and could be called nothing but a disappointment when compared to its brother.  It's hard to kill my lovelies and make choices like this, but I yanked the 20k out of FM4.

I then told myself:  Raley, you got to be cold and mean and as hard as you can be with these things.  So I went back to the 10 possible school timeline stories still left and I cut it down to 7.

That's final.  All we're losing is filler or things I've already told you but would have been filled (there's that word again) in more detail.  What's left are the 3 stories already in the series and 4 that contain important information you need for the mainline (ex: King Henry meeting Plutarch).  This means that the school timeline and the back to back structure will be ending in FM7.  The tapes exist, King Henry made them, you just won't "hear" them.  This is probably a good thing because these books are going to getting quite long without the extra 30k-40k words.  I mean we haven't even got to the...YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR ITS WONDERS!

What's this all mean?  It means I'm starting over with a different school timeline that's much more interesting and robust and holds its own weight than the last one.  I've already written a chapter in it, it's...YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR ITS WONDERS!  It does tack another month onto writing the novel, but I'm already ahead of schedule and it's really worth.

It also leaves me with 20k in prime King Henry Price POV story which I will be turning into a novella called "Griefing".  Strangely, what didn't work next to FM4's mainline does work by itself without all the extra stretching I would have needed to work it into 8 chapters.  It will probably be out in December so...yay, extra King Henry for Christmas!

TL;DR:  I started over on the school story in FM4 and have decided the school timeline will be ended in FM7.  There will be a new KH Short out sometime in December.  Raley is awesome.  I should tell people to buy his books.


Monday, October 21, 2013

Good News, Bad News

Good News:  This is my most productive writing month in 3 years.

Bad News:  To be this productive I've almost completely removed the internet from my life, so tweets, fan mail, and all those lovely things will take me longer to respond to, if I ever get to them at all.

Good News:  I just hit 50k yesterday and so far I'm insanely happy with how the novel is going.

Bad News:  FM4 will be longer than I originally expected, now estimated at 21 chapters and 120k words.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my writing bubble...it's so nice in the bubble...

Friday, October 18, 2013

FM2 and Failure By Design

Spoilers for the KHT, don't read if you aren't up to date.

***

Even though I check far less often than I used to when I only had a handful of reviews and every single one seemed like a new and wondrous thing, I do check in on the little balls of anxiety inducing torture from time to time, since they remain a good reflection on the most vocal parts of a fan base.

FM1 breaks down to about 90% loving the creativity of the world and KH's unique voice and about 10% being confused by the double timeline and not liking the cursing in the book.  FM3 still receives universal praise, something that makes me very happy given how it really was the "Unveiling of Things to Come" for the series.

FM2, however, is the beast I wish to tackle.  I've seen some comments on "sophomore slump" and complaints that it ends very quickly, that it really comes out of nowhere, and it makes you feel like you got pulled up short.

Yeah.  It does.

Totally the emotion I was trying to drag out of you guys with writing the book.

FM2 is a novel about success and about failure and about how we handle them.  I wanted you to feel exactly how King Henry felt by doing the "civilized" thing and making peace.  The purpose of the twin stories were also to show that as a child King Henry was correct the entire time while everyone doubted him, yet he squandered being "right" and manage to accomplish nothing more than the wrongest and most quickly caught up of his classmates.  While as an adult, the dumb bastard was COMPLETELY 100% wrong about what was going on.  He made a huge mess out of everything, but...by coming to his senses he was able to still get something out of the situation:  an agreement with Vega.

So it's an odd thought:  if a book is about failure and you feel it failed, then is it a brilliant book or a bad one?  When I was just a reader I often thought of success through the prism of how pumped up or amazed the book made me feel, that feeling of the high we all want from entertainment, yet now as an author who went through the experience of writing FM2, I do wonder...

I guess in the end it's up to the fans but I just wanted to have my say about my thoughts when it came to writing the novel and how I viewed it going in.  It was frustrating for me too.  Don't think I didn't want to get to the brawl being KH and Vega in book 2?  Hell yeah, I wanted it.  But I held us all back to induce the feelings I was aiming for.  I even cut out originally planned sections of the novel to make it shorter and feel more frustratingly incomplete.  As some have pointed out:  there are no actually werecoyotes in the novel about werecoyotes.  Why?  Frustrating, ain't it?

Why not give you the rush?  I am the guy who made up King Henry Price...so I feel contrary at times.  The lows and the frustrations can enhance the highs after all and in that way FM2 proves a very important step in King Henry's journey and will affect events moving forward.

Maybe you should all just consider this my declaration of MUAHAHAHA, I GET TO TORTURE YOU FROM TIME TO TIME.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Asylum Staff List

Some people mentioned they were having trouble recalling some of the more minor staff members while beginning FM3 so I put this together really quick to possibly jog your damaged little minds...or just to confuse you more.

ASYLUM STAFF LIST

Name – Asylum Position (Mancy Type, Level)  
THE LEARNING COUNCIL 
Maudette “The Lady of the Lake” Lynch – Dean (Hydromancer, Ultra) 
Delores Dingle – Head of Mathematics, King Henry’s Math Teacher (Faunamancer, Intra) 
Christopher Erikson – Head of Languages (Cryomancer, Ultra) 
Phineas Farraday – Head of Sciences (Mentimancer, Ultra) 
Benedict Massey – Head of History (Geomancer, Intra) 
Morgana Lancaster – Head of Physical Education, Faceshifter Teacher (Corpusmancer, Ultra) 
Keith Gullick – Head of Elementalism, King Henry’s Elementalism Teacher (Floromancer, Ultra) 
Mordecai Root – Head of Physical Theories, Bonegrinder Teacher (Necromancer, Ultra) 
Antigone Hyde – Head of Mental Theories, Winddancer Teacher (Aeromancer, Ultra) 
Rudolph Meyer – Head of Electives (Faunamancer, Ultra) 
Ceinwyn Dale – Head of Recruiting (Aeromancer, Ultra) 
Russell Quilt – Head of Testing/Non-Voting (Mentimancer, Intra) 
Nigel Rowland – Firestarter Teacher (Pyromancer, Ultra) 
Paul “Plutarch” Nixon – Artificer Teacher (Geomancer, Ultra) 
Leander Marlow – Riftwalker Teacher (Hydromancer, Ultra) 
Noelle Clarke – Stormcaller Teacher (Electromancer, Ultra) 
Alberto Cervantes – Beaconkeeper Teacher (Spectromancer, Ultra) 
Rin Yukimura – Winterwarden Teacher (Cryomancer, Ultra) 
Tristan McBee – Shadeshifter Teacher (Sciomancer, Ultra) 
Leslie Van Houten – Forestplanter Teacher (Flormancer, Ultra) 
Wolfgang Von Welf – Beasttalker Teacher (Faunamancer, Ultra) 
Yuri Jakovic – Mindmaster Teacher (Mentimancer, Ultra) 
 OTHER STAFF 
Evelyn Strange – School Doctor, Head of the Infirmary (Hydromancer, Ultra) 
Kumiko Ambrose – King Henry’s History and History of Elementalism Teacher (Geomancer, Intra) 
Jethro “Jet” Smith – King Henry’s Languages Teacher (Necromancer, Intra) 
Nevada Slaton – King Henry’s Science Teacher (Cryomancer, Intra) 
Harvey Pride – King Henry’s P.E. Teacher (Corpusmancer, Ultra) 
Fines Samson – King Henry’s Survival and Defense Teacher, King Henry’s Elementalism as a Weapon Teacher, Partially Retired (Sciomancer, Ultra) 
Audrey Foster – King Henry’s Theory of Anima Teacher (Aeromancer, Intra) 
Rainbow Greenbrier – King Henry’s Elementalism as Art Teacher (Spectromancer, Intra) 
Wilbur Fisk – King Henry’s Theory of Elemental Prophecy Teacher (Faunamancer, Ultra)
I might also be doing a "Dramatis Personae" for the Present part of the story to help out there.

I absolutely refuse to use the usual big publisher series method of spending the first 50-100 pages filling in past details about every little character interaction throughout the series.  I hate reading stuff like that, it's filler, it slows the book down, it assumes I'm stupid.  I'm sure I'd hate writing it even more, so I'm going to do the horrible thing of assuming my audience is smart and has a decent memory and just give you these lists as a quick reminder/check up guide.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

July Writing Update

May 10th we released FM3 to the world (or at least the internet, which is frankly better than the world) and it has so far received universal praise as being the best in the series .  Which means...I'm doing something right.  But I need to keep doing it right, so here's where we're at and where we're going.

When is the next King Henry book, FM4, coming out?
Not this year!  I know you fans want it yesterday, but I have to write it first and writing King Henry actually takes a good amount of time.  Some of this is from me having to "wear" the character while I write--this is a ton more difficult than just writing something in 3rd Person POV, especially with a character as complex and difficult as King Henry.

The rest of it is that as an Indie writer without the whole team behind me, I have two modes.  I have Writing Mode and I have Editing Mode.  One is hopeful and creative, one is extremely cynical and so so happy to tear down dreams.  When I go into Editing Mode to get a book out to you fans the instant after the first draft is done (relatively speaking), it really hurts my productivity for three to even four months.

So even if I could write FM4 in a flash and have it out to you lot in December, I'm not going to.  I want to be in Writer Mode for awhile, disappear into the laboratory, and then I'll come back with a bunch of awesome stuff when it's ALL (or mostly) done.

What's the Awesome Stuff then?
FM4, FM5, and the Steampunk novel I've been calling "Rockets" but which will have another title eventually revealed.  The goal, and I might fail but I'm trying not to, is to have all three out next year (2014).

Why do it like this for FM4 and FM5?
FM4 and FM5 were originally the other way around in the series order when I first outlined the whole thing, but early in working on FM3 I switched them when I realized it would make Val and King Henry's relationship be less chaotic if some things happened the other way around.  What I haven't decided about the switch yet, is whether the School Timeline should switch with them.

So what I'm thinking about doing is writing the Shop Timeline for FM4 and FM5 and THEN going back and doing the School Timeline for each book once I have a feel for how the stories interconnect.

In case you're wondering, this is why authors don't write complicated multi-timeline stuff and instead just pump out half-naked vampire boytoy and bastard boy with a sword stuff for you.  Woe is me!

I'm not sure I care about "Rockets" yet, but you're going to tell me about "Rockets" so just tell me about it.
"Rockets" is about half done now.  It's set in a completely new secondary fantasy world I've created.  It's a Steampunk variant called Dieselpunk with WW1/WW2 tech levels.  There's a magic in the world called The Path.  There's automation soldiers called Clockers.  There's skyships and landships and interceptors and so many fun toys.

"Rockets" itself is a very small focus action-adventure/war novel but the world will likely be one I return to in the future (5 possible books so far).  The world itself is influenced by Star Wars, Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica, but of course, Steampunk instead of SciFi, and with my own twists on everything.

I'm really happy with the chapters I have so far and think it's a pretty good roller coaster ride.  It will probably be coming out between FM4 and FM5.

Speaking of FM4 and FM5, can a fanatic get a hint?
While I first think of THE KING HENRY TAPES as one big story split up 12 times to make publication easier, the first half of the series does work well as two trilogies.  But not in the way you think as one trilogy and then a sequel trilogy but as a trilogy connected to a trilogy of sequels (say that 10 times fast for bonus points, also I haven't had coffee this morning, give me a break).  I don't really view FM2 as FM1's sequel.  Instead, it works better if you think of FM1, FM2, and FM3 all as the beginning book to their own storyline that just happens to have many of the same characters and the same world.  FM4 is FM1's sequel.  FM5 is FM2's sequel.  And FM6 is FM3's sequel.

This isn't to say they're contained.  The stories mix and mash more this time around.  And FM7 to FM12 will just be a big jumble of Crazy Awesomeness I promise, or Awesome Crazyness, whatever you prefer.

But yeah, FM4 will bring back the vampires...with a revengence.

In Conclusion
I'm going to be writing for the rest of the year, not editing.  FM4, FM5, and "Rockets" are all in the pipe and should be good for 2014.  I'll try to update you guys at least once more this year on my progress (or lack of it).

Thanks for the Reviews
Also, a special thanks to everyone who has reviewed my books!  It really helps out with spreading the word and I thank you for the support and for your time and thoughts.  We actually just hit 100 reviews on Amazon spread across all the King Henry books and shorts, believe it or not.

Cool.  Cool cool cool.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

FM3 Blurb


King Henry Price has faced down the Coyote Nation, he's faced down the Vampire Embassies, he's even making money from his Artificer Shop now, but nothing could prepare him for . . . his ex-girlfriend.

Valentine Ward, the one and only Boomworm, is in town.  Now a Recruiter for the Institution of Elements, she has a favor to ask of King Henry . . . just one little story to convince a teenage girl that either she learns to control the Mancy or the Mancy will control her.

Into madness and an early grave.

One little story for one little sister.

One little story for Christmas Ward.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

FM3 Release Date Moved Up

As I've said a few times before, I really like doing the opposite of the publishing houses when it comes to release dates.  Instead of giving optimistic dates that end up getting inevitably pushed further and further back, I like to give pessimistic dates that move up!

July ---> June ---> May 28th

Now, because the beta readers have all checked in with me on the typos...and assured me FM3 is "awesome", "outstanding", "just a great book", and "each book getting better and better"...I'm moving on up again.

May 10th.

Yes.  The May 10th that's a couple days away.  Yes.  The May 10th just before a weekend so all you people can read the book without skipping out on work.

As always with Indie ebook releases, remember:  Smashwords takes a week or two to get books out on iTunes, BN.com, and Kobo.  So, if you use an iPad or a Nook and want FM3 immediately on release day, you need to get it through Smashwords itself.  Kindle readers, you're fine, Amazon loads quickly.

So...

May 10th.

Troubled Boomworm, almost here.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Sharing is Good #7

From FM3:

"I notice you have yet to attack me, despite your desire.  Have you finally found someone to be scared of, King Henry Price?"

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Sharing is Good #6

From FM3:

Ain't no one threatening my pee-hole and getting away with it!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Sharing is Good #5

FM3:

I must have been dull from the repeated head shots.  I just stared at her without giving any reaction.  Part of me expected her to knee me in the balls.  But then . . . part of me expects every woman to knee me in the balls.  That part is usually my balls . . . mistrustful things, ain't they?

Monday, April 29, 2013

FM3 Sample Chapter

Usually I would highlight the Shop Timeline over the School Timeline, but the School section really starts with a blast in FM3, so her's some of Session 25.  Please remember, not final version, subject to change, and copyrighted and all that, so if you want to share just link back here, don't copy and paste.  Also...curse word warning...it's King Henry after all...

SESSION 25

It begins with a coin-flip.

That sweet sound of metal twirling into the cold winter air.

Damned Chance, what other way is more fair?  What other way is more sure to screw you over each and every time?  Damned Chance, she’s a cruel handmaiden of the Bitch-Queen herself . . . that whore Fate.

Damned Chance had me assaulting the Mound instead of defending it.

Ultra Class ’09 spread out along the edge of the Mound.

Mound . . . seemed like a false name all of a sudden.  Hill.  Mini-mountain.  The one piece of Up On High in all the Asylum.  Taller than even the Admin and Ultra buildings.  Tall, tall, fucking way too tall.

Taller than me, that’s for sure.  But when ain’t that been true?

I could only see a slice of it, my little slice of shit pie.  Shit pie . . . even cinnamon can’t fix it.

Stupid ass Welf and his stupid ass plan.

Going to get swept again, just like Single.  Embarrassing.  Made me want to put a fist through a wall.  I suppose at least there was a tactic this time.  Plenty of them.  We got ourselves up deep in Winter War strategies after the first massacre.  Plenty to choose from but picked the worst one.  Wouldn’t listen though, oh no.  Heinrich Welf knows best.

Stupid ass plan.

The cheers and jeers and just plain voices swept over the Mound, all of the Asylum come out to see the show.  This was our Superbowl.  Only . . . if the Superbowl kept happening right in a row for a week straight . . . and if Peyton Manning could shoot lightning from his asshole.  It is pretty downright awesome when you’re on the watching side . . .

It’s even pretty awesome when you’re the team defending the Mound . . . but when the coin-flip goes against you . . .

Just like last year.

I couldn’t see every member of my class.  Thirty kids to cover the whole Mound.  Welf’s supposed genius.  Stretch out the defense, find a hole.  Use the size of our class to our advantage.  Take on Ultra Class ‘08 one on one, not as groups.  Those that win ignore buttons one through four and make a gambling charge for the end prize . . .

You think the Nazi would be more for the Blitzkrieg than this chicken shit . . .

Pocket was on my right, if something like fifty yards away counts as my right.

He looked excited, bounce in his step.

Probably helped that he didn’t have a single person from the opposing team guarding him.

Valentine was on my left, same distance.

She looked determined, blond hair wrapped up in a pony tail, feet set in a sprinter’s stance.

Wasn’t a person guarding her either.

All three of us wore black colors, the color of necromancers.  Giving honor to our illustrious leader.  Stupid plan, stupid way to choose a leader.  Class rank, can you believe that shit?  Grades fucking me extra for once.  And Ceinwyn has the nerve to tell me to try harder on my tests if I want to be the leader!  I was fourteenth in the December Evals!  That’s a miracle for me . . . and she wants MORE?

At least it wasn’t Miranda in charge like last time.  The bi-polar swings between panic attacks and know-it-all-ness during our Single Winter War practices were best forgotten . . . and then the plan . . . and then the massacre . . .

Singles never win the War.  Singles never even win a match.  Singles barely even win a game.  We were all high on ourselves, going to be the first to beat the Quads at a game in twenty-three years, going to be the first Singles ever to win a match . . .

Fucking disaster.

Like . . . if Hurricane Andrew had raw ass sex with Hurricane Katrina.  And then their spawn from this meteorological ciotis had itself a temper tantrum.

All three of us had artifacts on, these clasp-on vests that covered our chests and backs.  Kind of like life-preservers, except not as bulky, and blood red instead of rebel fighter orange.  I fidgeted with mine.  Not as bulky, but still heavy over my coat.  Could have been armor for how heavy it was but . . . it had more in common with a straightjacket.

You let them hit the vest hard enough or just hit it enough and the thing would stun you, warn you to exit the Mound:  you’re out, kiddo.  Removed from play.  On the bench.  I ignored the stun last year, thought I could take the occasional reminder I was cheating and just keep swinging . . . I’d never do that again . . .

Valentine had something else, something extra around her left hand and up her wrist.  The teachers do some messed up stuff to us—like make the classes do the Winter War and record the damn thing—but they aren’t so far gone as to let pyromancers run around burning kids down.  Or electromancers doing their own version of the taser.  Some of the disciplines get the glove—an anima-projector—and get told they can’t use the Mancy directly at other students.

Bummer that . . . we never would have lost if Boomworm could do her thing.

Instead the glove read your Mancy draw rate, shot out a projected blast at the nearby vests.  At least . . . that’s what I figure.  Artificer or not, fifteen-year-old-me didn’t have a clue one way or the other.  Now . . . it’s an educated guess.  A gauge, something to signal the vests, and then a container like anima-vials to hold the discharge.  Wasn’t converting anima to electronic signal . . . no way.  If the Guild was that smart I wouldn’t need to be doing what I’m doing.

So the glove, so signals.  Not as fun as fireballs, but . . . more fun than melting faces.

“You want help?” Valentine yelled my way.

I was shocked I could even hear her at all.  All the people at our backs, the majority of the Asylum.  Teachers, students, even the groundskeepers and maids and the like.  In the thousands for sure.  Be one thing if they were silent . . . but with all the excitement, all the cheers already . . . it was testicle vibrating loud.

“I’m fine,” I yelled back.

“Are you sure?”

She had some pipes on her.  Had some other things on her too . . . gotten taller than ever the last few months, filled out her colors instead of being a lanky stick of a girl.  Her grin was nothing but a flash of white at that distance but I returned it.  Only girl in the class who seemed to like my company.  A few would put up with me . . . Miranda, Eva and Nizhoni.  A few more would deal with me if we got partnered up . . . Debra, Naomi, Malaya, even Yvette if she was in a good mood.  Then there was the whole weird Isabel thing . . .

But drop down beside me for a bit of gossip?  Wave me over at lunch or breakfast for a question about homework?  Only Valentine.  Boomworm.  Coolest girl in the class.  And a chance to become the most popular girl in the class judging by how pissy Hope is getting towards her . . .

“I’m sure.”

“Are you really sure?” she teased me. “Or are you just showing off sure?”

Good reason to tease too.  I had a chunk of Class ’08 standing right in front of me, all ready to defend the Mound by smashing in my face first and foremost.  Guess I shouldn’t have been such a braggart leading up to the match.  My mouth . . . Ceinwyn always says it’s going to get me killed.

At least gonna get me beat up . . .

In about a minute according to the countdown clocks.

Only question is, punks . . . how many of you assholes am I gonna take with me?

“Stick with the plan.”

Down went my clock, tick, tick.  Lower it went the harder to hear Valentine it got.  First match, first game of the Winter War.  The teachers or Learning Council or whatever was in charge had really outdone themselves this year.  The Mound changed every time we had a War.  Spices things up, I guess.  Last time they’d handed it off to a cryomancer artist, turned the whole Mound into an ice fortress with tunnels and battlements.  Intimidating as all fuck.

This year . . .

“Plans are only good until you see what the other side is doing!” Boomworm really had to yell.

This year the Mound was traditional, I suppose.  Divided into four zones.  Earth, Water, Fire, and Air.  I was at Fire . . . so . . . a wasteland of burnt trees and ash, pits of sand and . . . would you believe it?  Burning bushes.

I kept ignoring it.  Kept staring at the big screens they’d put up.  Four of them too, facing the Field where everyone was camped out.  One for each zone, a top down view of the whole mess we would be sprinting through . . . guess the Asylum had itself some Lakitus on retainer to fishing-pole some cameras.  Even more cameras you don’t suspect, Price.  This is really a test, ain’t it?  Not some game.  Not some sport.  You think the tapes end up in your file?  Think your reactions are psychoanalyzed?

Yeah . . . I do.

That’s why I planned to give them a show worth analyzing for years to come.

“If we don’t stick to the plan then Welf will just sulk for weeks!  We’ll never hear the end of it!”

Laughter.

When she laughed it always made me feel better.

Even when I’m about to get my ass kicked.

[CLICK]

“Ten seconds!” Mordecai Root screamed out, even over the speakers you could barely hear him from the noise.

Wave after wave of sound.

Clock ticking down.

Val and Pocket focused on running.

Me focused on . . .

Five-minute-pool.

Eight enemies.

All smirking.

All cracking knuckles.

In fact . . . six corpusmancers, a spectromancer, and a cryomancer.

Biggest kids in Ultra Class ’08.

Wasn’t like last year either, I’d had time to adjust to the Asylum—a whole three-hundred-and-sixty-five days to learn the names and learn the games.  Knew some of these kids.  Cryomancer was named Leo.  Gifted mancer that guy, which explains how he’s Second Tier and still leads his class in rank.  Also the reason why all eight of ’08 wore cryomancer blue and whites.

I’d told Leo for a week running that I would be knocking him out personally.  Guess the joke is on me.
Maybe you can do it.

Going down one way or the other, might as well cut off the serpent’s head or some shit . . .

The spectromancer was Quinn Walden’s older brother Jacob.  Odds are he’s a snobby brat just like her, don’t know him well enough.  Do know he was too shocked to make a comment the day before when I asked him why Quinn’s vagina glows in the dark.

Then the corpusmancers . . .

I’d put on four inches and almost forty pounds that first year at the Asylum.  Spent a lot of time in the Gym making sure it wasn’t fat but muscle.  Those guys gave me shit day after day . . . until I started breaking weights with the Mancy as they lifted them.  Knew it was me, couldn’t prove it . . . found ourselves some balance.  Only now they could beat on me all they wanted until my vest went off.

Why I get the feeling that most of the punishment will be missing the vest and instead be smashing into my skull?

“Five seconds!”

So loud I only knew what Root said because I expected the words.  By sound they were nothing but muffled noise, blown over by the eruption of cheers.

I cracked my knuckles, set my feet.

Eight of them.

With the high ground.

What could I possibly do?

But then . . . they seemed to be forgetting . . . high ground or not, it’s still ground, ain’t it?

The game started with a blast from each screen’s speakers, countdown clocks immediately switching to views of the Mound.  I caught a brief glimpse of the other three zones.

Earth looked almost unchanged from how the Mound was set day-to-day in Asylum life.  Large trees shading dirt and flower beds with a single rock pathway towards the very top.  Only now the trees ran out of control, the flowers flowed over their boundaries, and in place of a careful slope the ground was shattered, odd angled, and just plain rough.  Shapes waited among the trees for our team to start the climb.

Not good.

Water had a whole line of waterfalls, falling to ponds, then falling again.  Cliffs wet from dew, fountains blasting streams of water all the way down the Mound.  Only one ‘08er was in view here.  Sabine, their hydromancer.  A French foreign exchange student skipping out of the Continental Academy of Elementalism for the Asylum instead.

I’d give a better description of how hot she is but in the moment I couldn't give a shit about women.  I know . . . from me . . . it happens occasionally . . .

Hydromancer with tons of water, what could go wrong?

Air looked promising.  I assume.  Not a whole lot to see even on the camera views.  It was shrouded with fog, some of it boiling, some of it twisting, and even a bit that sucked into the ground.  Anything could have been inside that zone . . .

Perfect place to sneak through . . .

Only . . . I was left with Fire.

Sand and ash.

Maybe an explosion or two knowing the teachers.

Least I wouldn’t have to swim . . .

The grass of the Field changed to the sand of the Mound as my feet dug in, surging me forward.  Sixteen fists came up in front of me, quite a few of them grinning at the meal quickly approaching their den’o’pain.

Eight-to-one.  My hands balled into fists too, pumping at my sides.  I didn’t move fast, never did move fast.  On either side, I could just make out the black-colored forms of Pocket and Valentine hitting their marks, completely ignoring the group of ‘08ers in front of me.  Eight-to-one, King Henry, all alone.

I strategized as I ran.  Eight-to-one, hard to get over those odds, but not like pretending they didn’t exist would make those corpusmancers disappear.  Corpusmancers, in the classical mold:  big and buff, four guys and two chicks.  Wouldn’t have sexualized those girls for nothing . . . I mean . . . they’re buff enough to have vagina muscles that could snap my dick off.  ‘08 gets buff chicks with vagina muscles and ’09 gets freaky Isabel’s body changing, Nizhoni switching her hair color, and Yvette giving herself a nose job . . . seems fair.

Muscles . . .

Sure, muscles . . . scary to most, I guess.  Vagina muscles scariest to most, I guess too.  But not what I really worried about.  Jacob being a spectromancer and Leo being a cryomancer—much more intimidating.  Leo had on a glove just like Val.  Could have ended me before I got within ten feet of him if he wanted.  Glove simulates a blast of ice and cold and then I’m out before it even begins.

Don’t think he would waste it on me though.

Think he wants to save the pool for later.  After I’m a beaten and bloody pulp lying in the sand his group would retreat, start searching for ‘09ers from behind.  Flank attack.  Envelopment.  Old school war tactics.

Had to believe this was true.

Only chance for me to make a difference in this game.

If I can just hold the eight of them long enough . . .

Then . . .

I jumped into the air just in front of their line.  Anima ripped down the length of my arms, into my fists.  Not iron fists.  One nice hit and I’d be out.  Couldn’t do that.  Too many of them.  Got to . . . improvise.  Into my fists as I threw my whole body forward and down, arms and hammer-fists jackknifing into the ash-saturated sand.

Anima exploded on contact, carrying with it hundreds of pounds of material, material in the form of grains and motes and the smallest of the small.  Behind me, I heard all two-thousand-odd of the crowd gasp as the cloud filled the air, blocking out camera views, blocking out eye views too.  Before me, I heard eight enemies curse their favorites.

Fuck won the post-debate instant polling.

Me . . . I was silent.

I like my fighting silent.

Only talk if it gives me an edge.

Silent.

A silent hunter.

Couldn’t see but a squint, but neither could they.

And there’s only one of me, assholes.

Know I ain’t beating on a friend.

Turn them tables.

Who’s a ninja, motherfucker?

Daddy needs to buy himself some nun-chuckers.

I’d like to say I opened up with a flip kick or something else totally I-Know-Kung-Fu badass but instead of foot-to-face sound effects, the silence was broken when someone tripped over me from where I knelt in the ash.  Thud went one of the corpusmancers.  Don’t spurn Fate when she’s showing you her tits, Price.  I pounced on the guy, little fucking hop right on top of his body and then up and down with an elbow into his vest.  Thing gave him the shock and a buzzing noise.

“Shit!  He’s here!” the guy yelled, trying to cheat and hold on but I pushed off quick, rolling around in the ash and adding to my cloud.

“Where?”

“Here!”

“I can’t see shit!”

“I got him!”

“That’s me, Jacob!”

My eyes watered.  Dirt colored or not, they don’t take kindly to dust any more than yours do.  It hurt, screams along every nerve for me to close them, but I kept them open, kept wiping at my face with a sleeve.  Foot of vision might not be much but it was too much an edge to waste.

You could run.

I stopped cold on the ground, a foot sliding into view that just missed my fingers.  I could run?  What coward part of my brain did that shit come from?  Grabbing the foot, I pulled with both hands, tugging the next off balance.  One of the girls.  Caught me with a punch on the way down, but to the back of my head, not to my vest.

It’s smart to run.  Leave the idiots behind, make a play for the button.  Win the game, be the hero.

A stiff body punch to each side of the ‘08er girl’s stomach got her vest going.

“You asshole, Foul Mouth!”

“Keyra?” a voice called.

“I’m out!” Keyra—I guess—grimaced, “He’s here!  Get him!”

“No!  Everyone stop moving around, you’re only making it worse.”  That was Leo, knew the voice.  Calculating the odds.  Cryomancers are pretty cold bastards personality wise.  Like to do themselves the mathematical equation and follow through on the answer no matter what or who gets crossed out.

Like you should be.  Run.  Now.

If I ran then I’d miss out on beating these guys up.  No, I’m not enough of a tardflower to think that I’m going to take out all of them.  Figured I’d get a couple more before Fate turned on me and kicked my bare ass to the curb, not even a decent enough woman to throw a man his jeans.  But a couple more . . . four, maybe five in all . . . that’s worth it.  Especially if one of the four was Leo . . .

“Don’t try to find him.  Come to my voice instead.”

I finally said something, “Don’t listen to him, boys.”

“Come to me.  Watch your feet and don’t kick up the ash,” Leo ordered, voice carrying fine through the murk.  “Do it.”

Not much time left.  One foot became two feet became three feet.  Soon as they stopped bumbling about the air quality improved quick-like.  All my life in smog filled valley and just when I’m using it to my advantage . . .

“Not very smart, Leo,” I told the ‘08er team leader.

“And now I know where to aim, Foul Mouth.”

I chuckled.  “So do I.”

There was a gasp from the same direction as his voice.

I charged it, snarling.

A corpusmancer outline formed at my right, saw me, took a swing.  Nicked my vest, but not hard enough to put me all the way out.  Low beep from it.  Yeah, yeah, I’ll change your battery tomorrow.

Two more figures formed in front of me.  Jacob looking awkward.  Leo in his usual white and blues.  Behind, the corpusmancer followed after me.  Three more shouts, could be anywhere, focusing in on Leo just like me.

 Visibility to five feet but it didn’t matter any longer.  I was a freight-train, a locomotive, running to tackle.  Choo, fucking, choo.  Didn’t matter that each of them outweighed me.  Didn’t matter that they were taller.  Didn’t matter that they were older.  I knew what I was doing.  They didn’t have a clue.

I gave a shoulder into each gut, hearing a small beep from two vests for the effort.  One of them twisted with the momentum and fell away from me.  Whoever I’d caught blubbered up some cries as I wrapped my arms and drove him into the ash.  He screamed some more as we rolled, throwing up extra dust.  Five feet back to four feet.

I popped a couple hammer-fists at his vest, but didn’t even earn beeps.  Not hard enough.  Trying to push up off his body, I saw he didn’t have a glove and realized Leo had gotten away.  Jacob Walden, not who I wanted . . . but I’m looking forward to telling everyone how you—

The world went starry out of nowhere.

I was pulled off the spectromancer, head ringing.  Full Nelson under my arms, up my shoulders, Hercules Hernandez style.  Big muscled corpusmancer showing off, lifting me into the air.  I growled, cursed, kicked his shins.  Whoever he was, he laughed at me.  “Someone punch him and finish it.”

Leo materialized.  Black hair swept back, blue eyes sharp, tanned skin tight over a scowling face.  The fist without a glove bunched up.  “Honor goes to the captain, I think.”

“Fuck you,” I told him, trying to throw my head forward into his nose.

“Just do it!  We don’t have time for this . . .” Jacob Walden called, still on the ground, still keeping his distance from me.

Only Leo didn’t quite listen to his buddy.  First thing he did was kick me in the balls.  “That’s a favor for Welf, Foul Mouth, hope you enjoyed it.”  I didn’t answer, seeing as how getting kicked in the balls hurts a whole shitload.  I almost had enough of a pool for iron fist . . . if only I could get my arms free . . .  “I don’t enjoy it or much care, but the price paid was worth taking up the task.”

Welf, payback for earlier in the year.  I should have known.  I worked up some words.  “What he do, give you Vicky for a night?  Or he suck you off himself?”

Leo was too busy being all Summer Movie Villain, “Now . . . to eliminate you and then to close my trap on your friends.”

Can a fucker get a MUAHAHAHA up in this place?  “Hope the suck off was worth it, man, all this waiting around punting my nuts gave my friends plenty of time to win this thing.”

The scowl went the way of pleasure, of satisfaction.  Hitting me, he might not have got a rise out of that, but Leo enjoyed winning.  “It’s only delayed my victory, only delayed, Foul Mouth.”

Next bit was simple.  A punch to the gut.  A beep and an extra-red vest.  A little shock to remind me I’m out of the game and should exit the Mound without interfering . . . or else . . .

Or else . . .

Fuck your ‘or else’ . . .

Anima snapped, not flowing into my hands but into my feet.  Not so different from a hanging sit-up is it?  Just with a kick on the end.  Not iron fist . . . no, sir . . . got us a new name for this beauty.  Iron boot.  Right into Leo’s so satisfied face.  The second that I connected with the kick Leo disappeared from view.  I hit him so hard he almost vaporized into the mist.  There was a soft thud of impact from down below us.
My vest gave an angry beep, a flash of red . . .

Can’t say how much it hurt, I was unconscious at the first flash of pain.

Just like last year . . .

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Sharing is Good #4

From FM3:

I turned to Pocket.  "You want the girls to stop mobbing you for the rest of the night?"

"Yes, please!  Tell me your trick for being so repulsive!"

I just stared at him for a bit.

He eventually caught up to his mouth.  "That was unintentional . . ."

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Sharing is Good #3

From FM3:

She hadn't taken her eyes off me since I'd shown up.  Like she expected one of the Four Horsemen to release out of my asshole or something.  Hopefully War or Death . . . cuz Pestilence coming out your asshole just doesn't sound pleasant at all.

Monday, April 22, 2013

FM3 Release Date

May 28th, 2013.

There's still some typo-hunting to do, a month of beta-readers and the like, but the book is done!  Content and story are set in stone, and everything is formatted for e-reading.  Looking at it on my kindle right now.

The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm, 14 months of my life, now finished, I can happily say it's the best book I've ever written and that it takes The King Henry Tapes to another level.  I really can't wait to see how you all react to it...

Will probably be a sample chapter, cover, etc. popping up in a couple weeks or so, so keep an eye on the blog for updates like always.


Monday, April 1, 2013

FM3 First Draft is Done

No, this is not an evil April Fools prank.  It's done.  Now we have 2-3 months of editing ahead of us.  June/July still looking good.

While I'm editing I'll probably be working on "Rockets" concurrently.  No idea when I'll get off my lazy butt and put in the time on KH Short 4 however.  Short stories...they're so...diet coke...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Status Update Reminder

Please remember that 100% does not mean 100% for the status bar on FM3, I happened to underestimate how long this novel would be when I started.  Even though I figured it would be the longest novel I've published yet, I figured an extra 10k on FM1 would be enough...I was very wrong.  (I did write a 200k word high fantasy novel when I was in college but it's bad cliche crap and you'll never be seeing it...there were halflings...yeah, that scary...)

So, on to OT!  About 3 and 1/2 chapters left to write, I'd re-estimate that we're going to get to 120k, that seems about right.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Adding a Chapter

I always figured that the Shop chapters would eventually way outnumber the School chapters, especially as the Shop Timeline gets more and more complex and the School Timeline remains teenagers being idiot teenagers, so this isn't really a surprise.  The story itself isn't changing, but to fight off a chapter that looks like it could be 15k words at least, the formatting needs to be altered to keep the flow I like intact.

And of course by 'flow I like intact' I mean the mini-cliffhangers that drive you fans insane but also keep you reading till 3AM.

So...chapter +1.

FM1 was split even 8/8, FM2 was 9/8, and now FM3 will be 10/8.  I'll probably go with Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop-Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop-School-Shop.

Got it?

Say it ten times really fast.

I dare ya.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Halfway There

A couple nights ago I finally finished the first draft of the school timeline for FM3.  Why are you only finding out about it now?  Well...there might have been football to distract me.  To not morph into George RR Martin I won't spend a lot of time talking about how my 49ers are in the Super Bowl other than to say...my 49ers are in the Super Bowl!

Right now, the first draft of said school timeline sits are 50k words, which...is pretty much a novel in it's own right.  Lot of time with the kids at the Asylum this time around.  I'm pretty happy with it as is and don't see any rewrites being needed, so other than a tweak here or there and the usual inspiration you get during an edit, things are looking pretty good.

I already started the shop timeline half the book last month, so there's 5 chapters left to write on this sucker.  They're going to be some serious WTF chapters though...

While I always hesitate to throw out dates...May/June/July isn't out of this world for a release possibility.

And back to the grindstone I go.

With occasional videogame breaks...

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thank You, Reviewers

Just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has left a review/rating for my books at Amazon, Goodreads, and all the other digital storefronts.  FM1 hit 36 reviews today on Amazon (adding 12 in the last month!) and I'm pretty amazed by the progress.  Reviews and word of mouth are the driving force for Indie authors getting sales, so you really have to rely on your fans to help you, and you guys are being awesome.

Thank you!