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Thursday, February 24, 2022

War to End All Wars Opening Rant/Preamble

And on to the next one!

This is total blue-balls material.  Might even cut it, not sure.  First draft, so will definitely be editing it.  But the opening KH rant is kind of tradition at this point...so...

Also, hey, real coverage this time around!


Or at least, ya know, coverage that took longer than me spending an hour on it...that's an important step!

Did I ever show you guys the Vicky cover btw?


Yup, I am totally trying to trick romance readers into checking this series out and having their world rocked, yes I am.

But here's the opening rant...subject to edits and removal and who knows.  Plan to disappear for a few months writing away, so...know that your writer is busy and happy and using his bed-desk-thingy.  Might pop in to chat about stupid movies or tv shows or video games, but don't expect the plethora of teases to start up for a while and release will be much later this year (OCT/NOV) if it does sneak into 2022.  The annoying usual delays of back problems, new COVID variants, and nuclear armageddon making this estimate extra special who-knows-but-probably--ya know, just typical 2020 The Trilogy of Suck events we've all come to accept as the new normal.

If you want to talk about EVERCHANGING DILEMMA, go chat in the spoiler allowed discussion thread.  Again thanks to everyone who stuck around, purchased, typo hunted, reviewed, and spread the word.  We are alive once again!

*copyrighted by me, Richard Raley, all rights reserved, do not copy and paste but please link back here*

Anyone still listening out there?

Apparently I’m still yacking my big ol’ foul mouth of mine.

King.  Fucking.  Henry.  Fucking.  Price.

Seventh year.

Hep.

Guess you could say I was more a King than ever before.

Seventh year and the last year.

Almost finished, kiddies.

Almost free of this piece of shit recorder.

Almost free of YOU.

Get back to my shop.

Been months now, ain’t it?

Months.

Months of talking to you, you spoiled fucktards got to have yourself a bedtime story before you even think about joining the Asylum.  Special bunch of jackasses, ain’t ya?

Seriously, which one of you fuckers out there still doubting about joining up with the Asylum Assimilation Plan?  Want to go Mad that damn bad, do ya?  Want to eat your own toenails for snack time?  Want to dance with the fairies in the invisible moonlight?  Want to off yourself with a spoon you named Gary?  Or worse, maybe pull an Isabel Soto and make your best friend’s brainpan go crack, leak all that nasty gray goo out on your pretty clean corpusmancer colors?

Really need fucking more?  Really?!?

You just the special one percent, ain’t ya?  Not the good one percent.  Don’t got no yacht with television C-list actresses all over your dick.  I’m almost thirty and they’re gonna cancel this pure shit CW show soon, I need to trap my ass a billionaire!  Nah, talking testing scores, not wealth.  Test scores go backwards.  Ninety-nine percentile:  best colleges in the country.  Ya know, the ones with all the Asians in ‘em.  First percentile:  don’t let them breed!  That one percent only get’s any points for managing to write their name down on the paper.  Such a fuck-up dipshit mouth-breather you guess randomly on a multiple choice test and still don’t get a single question correct.  So fucking stupid you defy odds and chance and the Bitch-Queen Fate herself.

Please tell me that you’re just listening cuz I’m funny.

Please.

Cock jokes make me pee my panties, King Henry!

Or I killed Magic Hitler or something accidentally heroic and this is historical record about how big my cock is.

Cuz…if you still need convincing…tell ya what?

Hope you fucking die.

Yup.

You need to die.

Dumb motherfucker like you don’t need anima in your life.

No way the world can trust you with that shit.

World shouldn’t even trust me with this shit.  Even if I did kill Magic Hitler with my six inch cock.  FYI.  Six inches.  Very respectable.  And I’m totally five foot eight.  Anyone else says otherwise and they’re lying.  I rigged the tape measure just to make sure.

So all you dumb shits click off the tape, go eat some crayons.  I bet the blue ones taste like berries!

For the rest of you just think I’m funny…and for the Magic Hitler slayer historians… 

There is a little tiny sliver more to be told, I do admit.

Blah fucking blah for months and still it ain’t all told.

Almost though.

Close, so close.

One year left.

One good story left to tell.

The penultimate performance.  Spread your arms in front of you and say it with me, kiddies.  The penultimate performance.   The crowning glory of the King Henry Price’s legacy at the Asylum as the greatest troublemaker and schemer and BAMF the school ever seen in all its years.  Got some sentimental graduation all touchy-feely shit wrapped up in it too, but…that’s not the good shit!

Since we already clarified that you’re attending the school and you’re just hear for me to make you laugh, we got to go out with the good shit!

Maybe just be a story for me this time around, more than for you.  My past, not your future.

Seventh year.  Hep.  The swan song.  The last ride, last dance, and last hoo-fucking-rah all rolled up into one!

The War to End All Wars.

A transitional year for the most part.  Like that for all students, ain’t it?  The college or the high school variety.  Just want to graduate and move on by the time you get to your last year.  Normal school you can maybe even kick back, take a few less credits and get a part time job, all that Full Growing House of Pains sitcom shit.  College too, start thinking about job offers, whether you gonna sell your firstborn’s left nut to pay for a master’s degree, or maybe even you gonna go wageless intern slave for some Hollywood producer, work as the replacement chode tickler when his favorite actress is out of town.  Hey…someone got to do it.  If producer chode don’t get tickled then we don’t get awesome comic book movies, so fucking get in there and tickle it like a superhero, champ!

Asylum has some of that…well, not so much the tickleage as the life decisions.  Doesn’t slow down to let you give yourself over into rumination or contemplation though.  Full fucking steam ahead at magic school.  Not that you’ll ever be totally free, Mancy being a life sentence, but…

Well, for whatever reason, during your last year at the place they load you down with all these new responsibilities.

Cuz when you think King Henry Price…you think responsible.

Responsible for drugging the waffles.

Responsible for getting Naomi Gullick grounded for six months.

Responsible for turning the Winter War into a complete fucking disaster.

Ain’t talking about burning down the Mound that one time neither, Boomworm should get the blame for that one, don’t care how many times she plays that ‘who me?’ act when the subject gets brought up.  Her, Miss Fucking Perfect, not the screw-up!  So there!

Nah, instead I’m talking about the Winter War of 2016.  The War to End all Wars.  All me.  Think it’s named that cuz it will never be topped?  Like Wrestlemania Seventeen?  Stone Cold versus the Rock…the Sequel!  You can’t top that shit!  Just give up.  Nah, that ain’t why.  Why it named that then?  Well…guess you’ll see, won’t ya?

Still some spoiled, impatient little shits, ain’t ya, kiddies?

See, wasn’t just the year I graduated from the Asylum. Was also the year that the Asylum faculty, in all their glorious wisdom, upholding the traditions of the past, decided that yeah, we should go ahead and let Class ’09 be student-advisors.

What could possibly go wrong?

That’s a bad idea, kiddies.  Asking Mary O’Connell to scrub out your pee-hole kind of bad idea.  Kind of bad idea that—after Class ’09 had inhabited the place for six whole years—should’ve made someone think.

But tradition is just such a thicc bitch, how you gonna take your eyes off that curvy, plump booty?

This ain’t a story of death, not a story of  love won or a story of love lost, just…a few ideas that got carried a little bit too far, collided, and then…we dropped the baby, he cross-eyed for the rest of his life, fucking my bad!

A story of competition, of gossip, of betting, and of tradition, all the shit makes that school well and lubricated, able to ignore its crazy.  All bundled up around the event where it lets the Crazy out for one lone week.

A story of rivalry.

A story of generations.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Don’t start with the action scene, do ya?

Only hack bastards do that type of shit.

Nah, told enough of these now to know the key is in the buildup.

Slow buildup.

Like a woman biting her bottom lip.

Ohhh, saucy!

What you gonna bite next, baby?

Why we ain’t starting with the Winter War itself.  Nah, we’re starting all the way back six months before the battle was joined.

Nah, starting before I even knew about the shit coming at me like a dripping, brown heat-seeking missile.

Starting when I still thought there was no fucking way the Asylum could possibly be that obtuse.

Starting before I had my proof that tradition is an insanity beyond all other insanities.

Hope on the ride with me, kiddies, cuz…

Away!  We!  Go!


Sunday, February 20, 2022

Author Q&A: The Returnination Edition

Haven't had one of these in...yeah, I actually don't remember, so...go ahead and ask whatever.

Prepare to be hit with the RAFO (Read And Find Out).

And also realize that we're talking over a million words of content here across 13 novels and I might not remember everything correctly off the top of my head, but I'll try.

And if you're a Goodreads user, head over to the blog to ask your questions there!

2/22 Update:  Taking some time off the net to try to focus in on WAR TO END ALL WARS over the "check your sales and adverting every hour" addiction I'm yet again developing.  Keep asking and I'll get to them all in due time!

2/27 Update:  AM very much addicted to checking sales, advertising numbers, and the news out of Ukraine, plus my back is being a bastard, so...we're going to wrap this up!  I'm spending a week with the laptop in the closet to reset my brain and then I'm going to get into WAR TO END ALL WARS.  Love all of you for sticking with me and happy you're still so engaged and interested in where the story is going!  But it's time for me to get back to writing and not basking in that new release glow.

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Everchanging Dilemma Discussion Thread (Spoilers Allowed in Comments!!!)

It's release day!!!

Linkage:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09SGXND5Q

I try to stay out of these, so talk and mingle and don't kick anyone in the balls.

Unless they request it, I suppose...

Anyway.  Thanks to everyone who hunted the typos and to anyone who leaves a review and, of course, spreads the word I'm still alive.

This will probably be up as the top post for a while.  Physio, doctors, and getting away from the net to start in on WAR TO END ALL WARS and such.

So, get all your theories and feelings and "WTF Raley" out here.

2/16 Update:  Broke into the Top 100 New Releases for "Coming of Age".  Need a little bit more for Paranormal or Urban Fantasy though, so keep pushing!  Doing great considering all the difficulties and side novel and all that.

Physio has been cancelled going forward...my back is very not good.  Talking to my physician today, probably with the idea of consults and surgeons and all that super fun stuff.  Good news is that I won't be tortured for the next month, so means I can focus in on WAR TO END ALL WARS sooner.  Bad news is...uhh...spinal surgery...

Monday, February 14, 2022

[CLICK]

Button has been pressed.

Can take anywhere from a few hours up to...a long while.

Hopefully not.

Think the longest I've personally seen was 18ish hours with FM5.

You lot did riot a little bit, but no guillotines, so...try to behave yourselves tonight too!

I'm going to sleep.

Linkage and discussion thread tomorrow.

If it does go up quick-like...

Enjoy!


Update!

Linkage:  Everchanging Dilemma!!!



Saturday, February 12, 2022

Waiting Game

Just waiting for the Super Bowl (a pox on both their houses) and Valentine's Day to wrap up at this point.  Book's done, entered into Amazon and one button press will do the job.

All the beta readers enjoyed it, so...hopefully the rest of you will to.  I'll put up a discussion thread post release and then plan to mostly disappear the coming months as I focus in on the next book.

Been doing a bit of world-building in the meantime, finalizing backstory and family trees on the Divines and the Dragons and all things Creation Mythology.  It's not like I have no clue or I've been flying blind up until this point, but I do like to plan in a bit of nebulous fog of war so that inspiration plays a part in my stories.

Only after what happens in EVERCHANGING DILEMMA and what will happen in MOST OBVIOUS TRAP, time for some clarity for the writer, even if it takes the last half of the series to slowly filter out to your readers piece by piece.

And of course...there are clues already there and have been since the first book...


Wednesday, February 9, 2022

COVID and King Henry?

*do not start crazy shit in the comments!!!*

So one of the interesting side effects of THE GREAT DARK TIMES these last three years (my personal troubles with grief/illness not the pandemic) is that we've finally moved beyond the date that the Tapes are currently taking place in.

FM6 took place August 2019 and FM7 should be about February or March 2020.

Which, ya know, needless to say, some shit might have been going down in the world just about then.

Compounding this is that a significant chunk of FM7 takes place in East Asia...

😬

Because OF COURSE it would...

Also, FM8 would like take place October/November 2020 and involves half the novel being a trip across various US locations and it really doesn't stop there.  On and on and on just stuck in that time line in six month to year long skips.

Obviously the KHT are fictional and an alternate world, but I have tried to seed it with real world moments and pop culture to make it seem like it could indeed be happening right under our eyes.

But I don't think keeping that mirage in place to the point of adding in the pandemic and masking and lockdown and...however you feel about the issues that have sprung up out of the pandemic, I question if anyone wants to dwell on these things at this point instead of just trying to move past them the best we can, especially in media where the point is to entertain and give people a good time, some laughs, maybe the occasional moment of inspiration if you're lucky.

Of course, very easy of me to just say:  The Divine Moshi caused the pandemic to kill off humans and fuck with the Anima Quota numbers and yada yada and Slush cures COVID so who cares and yada yada.

Also I have missed stuff before, like Disney buying Lucasfilm or I thought electric cars/bikes would be more normal by now, etc.  I think T-Bone gets excited for Star Wars Episode 9 and the Han Solo movie, which just...no...no...no one was...my poor childhood, still...

But...point of this all is:  probably just going hard alternate history with this one and saying no pandemic in the MancyVerse.

FYI.

*do not start crazy shit in the comments!!!*

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Most Important FM Stat Breakdown Ever

 [CLICK] Per Novel

Fanged Lady = 44

Cat Killing Coyotes = 53

Troubled Boomworm = 73

Headless Hunny = 82

Mancy Martial Artist = 106

Pit of No Return = 108


Words in Novels

Fanged Lady = 93,636

Cat Killing Coyotes = 80,123

Troubled Boomworm = 124,556

Headless Hunny = 121,564

Mancy Martial Artist = 189,887

Pit of No Return = 282,271


Words Per [CLICK]

Fanged Lady = 2128

Cat Killing Coyotes = 1511

Troubled Boomworm = 1706

Headless Hunny = 1482

Mancy Martial Artist = 1791

Pit of No Return = 2613


WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!




Monday, February 7, 2022

Everchanging Dilemma: One Week!!!

Give or take a few hours!!!

And whatever Amazon decides to spend processing the file...

Was it FM5 that had you lot ready to riot over a 18 hour wait or FM6?  I can't remember.

Luckily *knock on wood* seems like the system is a lot faster nowadays.



If you're in a beta read, consider this a Please Get Your Typo List in by Friday Feb 11th BTW.

Sunday, February 6, 2022

How it Started-ish

One of the first set of notes I took for The King Henry Tapes, probably in 2009 if I had to guess.  On the right, you can see King Henry's name finally circled, the Institution's name and me misspelling Visalia.

Many of the Ultra titles stuck outside of "Deathlich" which I thought was a little too Metal and replaced with Bonegrinder and Faceshifter was the same as Shadeshifter and got changed to Facechanger.  Was just listing the possible powers as they came to mind, so I had to switch Aeromancy and Spectromancy on the tiers and Xylomany went bye bye as I decided wood and plants were mostly the same thing.

Also my population calculations were way too common for Intras and rare of Ultras and got changed completely. 



Saturday, February 5, 2022

Updating Reading Order + Planned Novels

AUTHOR'S SUGGESTED READING ORDER


The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady [FM1]

Little King Henry, Short Story

The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes [FM2]

Conquering Hero, Short Story

Friendship is Madness, Short Story (T-Bone)

Second Take, Novelette (Welf)

The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm [FM3]

Griefing, Novella

The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny [FM4]

Meet the Bonnies, Novelette (T-Bone)

The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist [FM5]

King Henry and the Three Little Trips, MancvVerse Moments Novel (T-Bone/Eva/KH)

The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return [FM6]

Assault on Dread Fortress Paine, MancyVerse Moments Novel (T-Bone/Eva)

The Glassbreaker Goes Home, MancyVerse Moments Novel (KH)

The Everchanging Dilemma, MancyVerse Moment Novel (Evelyn Strange)

The Foul Mouth and the War to End All Wars, A Final School Story (Forthcoming)

Vicky von Welf and the Mancy Masquerade, MancyVerse Moments Novel (Vicky) (Forthcoming)

The Foul Mouth and the Most Obvious Trap [FM7] (Forthcoming)

The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble [FM8] (Forthcoming)

The Foul Mouth and the Black Bird Bash [FM9] (Forthcoming)

The Foul Mouth and the Six Realm Drop [FM10] (Forthcoming)

The Foul Mouth and the Queen's Revenge [FM11] (Forthcoming)<---this title is probably changing

The Foul Mouth and the Asylum Ascendant [FM12] (Forthcoming)

*author reserves the right to randomly write MancyVerse Moments novels as he feels like it, but has no current plans for more.

Friday, February 4, 2022

More Beta Reactions

"I'm so confused, but in a good way."

"This book FUCKING ROCKS!!"

"Don't you dare cut the final part! It was fabulous!"

"The pay-off! Oh my!"

"Slow start, into dread, into semi truck."

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Spine/Back Update + Beta Started

So...physio twice a week for at least the next five weeks going forward.  If how I feel at the moment continues that means I'll need 4 days total a week devoted to that with each session and then a recovery day in bed.  I'm barely managing to sit up right now typing this after a super long nap...and we haven't even gotten into stretches and exercising portion of the torture routine... 

He indicated that in his mind he was trying to prepare me for spinal surgery, so the aftermath would be shorter and easier on me, so...not looking too good on this being a solution.

Writing wise, beta copies are out, some have finished and no one hates it so far...yay?

"One of your best."

"Still a fan, buddy."

"Far more intense than most of the earlier books."

They could just be suck ups...but... 👍👍👍

OMG I have emotes... 💩

I have FM4-FM6 to still reformat and plug in a few typos that people have mailed me over the last 3 years (in addition to what the beta readers have found for DILEMMA) since I last did the whole series bells and whistles update, so...that's what I'll be up to when I can manage to sit up straight!

Man, I suck at lying in bed just watching tv now.  Like...can't do it.  Just want to write 12 hours a day and pissed I can't.  Weird how I snapped back so hard from all those grief/sick years where everything seemed...miserable and pointless, I guess.

Made me a better person and a more aware and empathic writer, I think, but wasn't so fun...

Feb 15th!!!  Piss on your Bengals in the Super Bowl!  Piss on your Post Valentine's Day What Am I Covered In Please Tell Me That's Chocolate Shower!!!  But the book!

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Everchanging Dilemma Release Date: February 15th!!!

 Coverage!!!

Blurbage!!!

Captured at Dread Fortress Paine, Isabel Soto lies helpless and comatose, but the sedative controlling her quickly grows ineffective and its limited supply shrinks by the hour.

She has already escaped the Cleansing Sphere of Reform, the only prison with a chance at holding her.  Pregnant with the Curator's child, killing her is an option only the heartless can stomach.  Most troubling, inside her broken mind are precious secrets about Obadiah Paine's clandestine network, information that might save hundreds of Mancer lives, bring the fugitive Three Queens to justice, and destroy their Wilder Army.

Yet Isabel remains one of the deadliest beings on the planet: the Maximus of the Body, the Queen of Temptation, the Everchanging.

How do you hold her, how to you convince her, and . . . can you save her?

This is THE EVERCHANGING DILEMMA.

Follow Evelyn Strange, Eva Reti, Ceinwyn Dale, and others in this new KING HENRY TAPES side novel as Richard Raley marks his return from illness and grief, let's get the MancyVerse back on track!

One Catch:  Beta read is running February 2nd to 11th, if my back goes out or if I get COVID like we all have to deal with lately, Feb 18th will be the push date if I need more time getting the edits into the file.

But for now...if all goes well, Feb 15th!!!  Finally, again!

Until then I'm working on reformatting and updating the older books in the series in preparation for the new release (and hopefully some new fans), after that I'll be going hard on WAR TO END ALL WARS writing with the bed-desk-thingy.  I'm like 6.5 out of 13 chapters into it.  It's a big one.  Let's put it this way:  it's already longer than the book you're about to read.  Chonky chonky boi.  100% King Henry crazy high school antics.