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Thursday, February 11, 2021

Watching, Playing, Reading: Winter 2020-2021

Minor Not-So-Update:  Still scattershot!  Still waiting on the doctors, still being there for my mom.  I will be locking this internet connected laptop up in the closet as soon as I hit "publish" on this post however and I did buy a new writing chair since the old one died months ago and...writing on the edge of my bed wasn't helping matters.  So...those should both help with the focus.  But, onto the meaningless faffing about!

==WATCHING==

MANDO SEASON 2:  As mentioned in the WW1984 snark-a-thon, this was more of a religious experience than a television show for someone who wore out multiple Star Wars VHS growing up as a child.  Not to say it's perfect, and stormtroopers have never been more hilariously pathetic, but they did so many things right and the last episode did make me cry like a three-year-old boy with his stuffed Snoopy.  Going on YouTube and watching all the other fans weeping in their own reaction vids made it even better.

As a writer, it's a reminder of our end goal and that our deepest desires should be to create moments like that for our fanbase.  Also a reminder that no matter how cool you think you are and how many expectations you subvert, that will NEVER EVER match up against actually sticking the fucking landing of giving people what they want and need and hope for.

And if you can do BOTH...you're a real BAMF.

TENET:  Finally rented Nolan's newest.  No doubt from me than this movie is genius.  It is also so far up its own ass it will never need a colonoscopy.  Amazing but soulless, I guess I would say?  Probably my least favorite of his movies.  There's a lot of "wouldn't it be cool if" here and sometimes that urge doesn't earn the moment and that creates serious problems.  Why was there a whole bit revolving around racing catamarans btw?  It got lost in everything else, but...did someone want to build some boats and get a tax break or something and they got Nolan to screw WB out of the money and...holy fuckballs, have I cracked the case?

As for the rest...thank god I been reading fantasy novels since I was ten so I picked up on all the terminology drops quick enough.  Also--not bragging and never felt more humble than I have in the last couple years--but I consider myself pretty fucking High IQ and even I was so happy that I could pause this and watch it over the course of a whole day in smaller chunks while thinking about it in-between, cuz...so far up the butt it found the Wizard of Oz!

Like...my mother thinks British/PBS mystery shows are the end all and be all of intellectual pursuits and I'm pretty sure if she accidentally watches this movie her brain will just implode.

You named the main character the Protagonist, really?!?!?

That's the kind of shit my snotty ass would've done in high school trying to be a brilliant special snowflake while actually being an extra pretentious douchebag, just saying...

DC ANIMATED UNIVERSE MOVIES:  So this is a thing.  After the WW1984 disaster I wanted some superheroes and HBO Max has all these to watch now.  And guess what, class?  Somehow, the animated DC universe is better than the billion dollar movie version by miles!  For one, none of them are completely horrible.  So...win.  And two, some of them are actually really great.  All the John Constantine stuff is especially fun.  Flashpoint Paradox, amazing.  They made a great Suicide Squad movie...somehow.  Apokolis War was super fucked up AND crazypants entertaining.

So if you're feeling superhero withdrawals these dark Rona days, give these a look-see.

ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI:  Was a play, now a movie, felt like a movie made from a play.  Four guys in a room talking about a bunch of different shit, so...kind of my thing.  Kingsly Ben-Adir and Leslie Odom Jr. battled back and forth for the top stop and everyone else did a good job too.

ENOLA HOLMES:  This was fine.  It got very stupid in the last half hour and plenty is handwaved.  Nice bit of style though.  Millie Bobby Brown is obviously a star and I expect she'll be on our screens for decades to come.

WANDAVISION FIRST HALF:  THIS SHOW IS AVERAGE AT BEST, STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE IT IS OMG AMAZING, MARVEL FANS.  Okay?  Got it?

Even Richard FUCKING Raley, the guy that LOVES slow buildups far, far too much for his own good, even THAT guy, thinks the first three episodes of this show are complete bullshit!  Painful bullshit!  Painful bullshit you can't skip because there's like 30 seconds of something weird that might happen that you want to see!

Even people that watch MeTV 24/7 were bored!

You made us cheer Darcy from Thor showing up!  That's how boring it was!

Paul Bettany has to dress up as a robot for this shit!

Shame!

==PLAYING==

CYBERPUNK 2077:  Well, I tried.  I don't have a super PC battlestation these days.  1)  I'm at a keyboard writing for most of the day (or should be at least when things are going well) and I just don't want to be at a computer for even longer once I decide to chill out.  2)  I've found compartmentalization increases output.  You write on the computer, you game on the console.  My writing laptop is actually a decade old and doesn't even have a modem in it.  3) I'm an old, old weak ass Boomer man of 37 and my wrists and fingers can't handle twitch shit these days, especially if I'm doing the writing + keyboard and mouse gameplay.

So...don't have the PC and who can find a PS5?  And even then, this one is still a colossal disaster on Next Gen consoles from what I've seen.  Surely was for the couple hours I punished myself with on the PS4 before collecting a refund.  Unbelievable disappointment from CDPR and a nice shit cherry on top of a super shit 2020.

CIVILIZATION VI:  There was an argument to be made that this was finally better than CIV 5 with the Gathering Storm expansion, now with all the Frontier Pass modes and added civs, there is no argument.  This is...almost perfect?  Still tons of barbarian and diety bullshit to put up with to actual get a successful run going, but it's just a great game at this point.

So...now they'll release Civ 7 and it will be shit until a couple of expansion are out...the cycle continues! 

NI NO KUNI:  WRATH OF THE WHITE WITCH REMASTERED:  JRPG fairytale with pokemon-ish minions fighting beside you.  On hold at the moment, but plan to go back.  The art style, so great!  Just makes me happy seeing every new character or city...

But its a JRPG so it will be about 100 hours long no doubt...  

FENYX, IMMORTALS RISING:  If I'd written this a couple weeks ago, I would be massively effusive in my praise of this game.  It's basically Ubisoft's version of Zelda Breath of the Wild.  Except with Greek Gods.  Is it better than Breath of the Wild?  No.  I had problems with the newest Link adventure, but those first 20 hours of exploration were incredible and I've never felt anything like it before.

But this game also LEARNED from Breath of the Wild.  Much like the Tomb Raider reboots made themselves in some ways better Uncharted games, this is the same.  Not having to fucking worry about your weapon breaking and going through five of them in one boss fight?  Fucking awesome!  Not having to farm stupid arrows because you ran out?  Fucking awesome!

Also the story is more present and the some of the jokes actually made me laugh out loud.  Zelda has less of a story and more of an environment most of the time.  Granted, its a memorable environment...but not so much on the dialogue and Zeus and Prometheus narrating you through your journey was fantastic.

Is it a rip off?  Yeah.  But...knockoff awesomesauce is still part awesomesauce, ain't it?

My biggest complaint is pretty much the last whole section of the game.  It's completely open world for 75% of the way through it, letting you do pretty much whatever you want and then suddenly you're on rails and if you step off the path then the bitter cold will kill you and yada yada.  Big disappointment of an end, basically...but a fun journey.  Play Breath of the Wild if you haven't yet...but if you HAVE...give this a go.

==READING==

CURSE OF CHALION BY LOIS MCMASTER BUJOLD (Re-Read):  Been fifteen years since I read it, still wonderous and thoughtful.

PENRIC AND DESDEMONA NOVELLA #8 AND #9 BY LOIS MCMASTER BUJOLD:  So, Bujold has won about a billion Hugo and Nebula awards and she's old lady writing badass these days and has semi-retired, but being a writing badass she still keeps pumping out a fantastic novella 3 or 4 times a year and the best of them make up the Penric and Desdemona series about a man possessed by a temple demon that's had 12 previous masters that have "imprinted" on the demon, all of them female.  Also wonderous and thoughtful.

Each novel is about 100 pages, sometimes a little more, so you're looking at some good reading if you take the jump at this point.  Same world as Chalion, but 300-ish years prior, which is why I'm re-reading it.  All of Bujold's work is highly recommended.

BAGMAN, SPIRO AGNEW BY RACHEL MADDOW:  Because somehow Nixon wasn't the biggest political asshole of the 70s.

RISE AND FALL OF THE DINOSAURS BY STEVE BRUSATTE:  I just started it, but...fucking dinosaurs go rawr!!!

==OVER TO YOU!==

Thoughts?  Opinions?  What media have you been digesting like a good capitalistic cog in the machine?  Hmm?

1 comment:

  1. While taking care of a sick sibling who has massively different tastes in movies, we recently watched "The House with a Clock in its Walls" and "The Alienist".

    THWACIW was a run of the mill kid's movie with Jack Black, basically Goosebumps done all over again...until you get to the underlying backstory, then things get shockingly hardcore. The villain, who is supposed to be generic evil sorcerer, is a WWII veteran who had his platoon wiped out and went crazy in a deep, dark forest, where he summoned up a non-kid friendly demon.

    https://www.facebook.com/actinghomeless/photos/azazel-from-the-house-with-a-clock-in-its-walls-director-eli-roth-bringing-to-li/500336324101075/

    After making a deal with the demon, the evil wizard does his thing. After some more generic kids movie action, we are told the backstory of Cate Blanchett's character, also NOT kid friendly. A good witch living in France DURING WWII (note the trend), her husband and kid are KILLED BY THE NAZIS and this breaks here spirit and she loses her magic mojo. All of this culminates in a scene where she has a fight with Jack Black and calls him a coward for not raising his orphaned nephew when she would give anything to deal with the problems that arise from his guardianship. The scene is the most dramatic and well acted scene in the movie, and has no business being there since the rest of the movie is boring and predictable. But still, there's a pretty dark adult horror movie hiding inside of this kid movie!

    The Alienist started with lots of potential. It tries to be a late 19th century version of Silence of the Lambs meets Criminal Minds. There is a team of detectives that coalesce around a serial killer investigation, led by a possibly mad genius "Alienist" (read psychiatrist), think Doctor Seward from Dracula. There are two Jewish cops who are frozen out of regular police work, a wastrel alcoholic artist, and...a woman police secretary!

    So much potential, but the show couldn't deliver. The main reason is because whoever directed it hates the fucking 19th century, with a special dislike for the men of that era...which is fine, except that the male characters become tedious when they demonstrate no redeeming qualities. Think of a genius level character like Sherlock Holmes, except he is not much of a genius. Or a tough guy nobleman, who loses every single fight he engages in during the movie.

    First of all, the male characters, from genius psychiatrist to alky artist, are so unbelievably incompetent that they get kidnapped multiple times, dismiss clear clues and evidence dropped in their laps, and generally show zero competence at anything they are supposed to be good at. Not to mention the metronome-regular tantrums these supposedly self-controlled and socially conscious gentlemen keep throwing. I mean, a TON of hissy fits are thrown.

    You keep expecting improvement but instead, it becomes clear that the show isn't about them pulling it together and finding the bad guy. It's about having the male characters fuck up so much that the female lead steps up an gets it done despite their idiocy (it is a small relief by this point). It culminates in the lead actress bringing a Derringer stashed in her pettycoats (because the fucking moron men can't be trusted to so much as lift a finger to protect her) to gun down the villain at the last minute. And by this time anyone watching is actually rooting for the corrupt cop turned villain, because he just killed off both a pedophile and the serial killer (two separate suspects), doing the main cast's job for them. Yes, he is about to execute the Scooby Gang, but they did get him fired, so I'm sympathetic. And I hate them.

    Anyhow, gonna watch Lovecraft Country next.

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