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Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Nerves Burninated

In quite a bit of pain as the suckers die off and the poor confused muscles spasm over the mixed signals.  Recovery can take up to a couple weeks (usually doesn't, but it can).  Then we're directly into the right side of the spine and we start the clock all over again.  But yeah, can type this, so there's that!  Tired and thirsty and hungry and...

Anyone else always make these plans where they're like "oh I'll watch that amazing thing I haven't gotten to yet, that's such a good time to have nothing to do!" and then you remember "but...I'm miserable and I like that thing and I don't want to chance my current shittiness dragging it down."  So basically I'm currently surfing every channel/service for shows/movies I think I probably won't like too much but might entertain just a little bit instead of something I know I'll like but am in no mode to enjoy...

Tis quite the conundrum...

4/4 Update:  Still healing.  Had a nice pain lessened weekend and I'm sleeping a solid eight hours for the first time in forever (think it was like 10 hours Saturday actually).  Lots of expansive wild dreams, which means the brain is enjoying itself in some deep sleep instead of getting grumpy about my body whining all night long.

Am having a bit of trouble yesterday/today with leg spasms and pain/weakness in my left hand/elbow/shoulder.  Could just be nerves healing or dying or me feeling the other problem areas of my spine a bit more.  Only time will tell.  Right side burnination is next Friday, so still plenty of rest and recuperation before they toss me around again!

2 comments:

  1. I just have this feeling that deciding "I want to be a writer" and "Oh- here's some fun health issues" is like one of those... weird natural congruences of life. Like a full bladder and a traffic jam... or a bare foot in a dark room and a Lego block left strategically out....

    So- yes- I had "plans" (otherwise known as "setting myself up for Fate to prove herself as vindictive as always). Had a scheduled physical- something old people like me are supposed to get because it is "Good for us." Dr. was annoyed (mildly) because I had gained back the weight I had been losing. (Hey- it was winter and I am a mammal, so instinct told me to store up... It was dark 70% of the day, so I couldn't exercise.... Okay fine. I gave in to my junk food cravings... a LOT).
    But also- "Hmm- you need a tetanus booster AND the shingles vaccine." Yay.
    Wisely, I said to the nurse... "Let's do the tetanus in the left arm- it is more likely to have a reaction." Nurse said, "Mmm," but did as I requested.
    Here's the thing- I have HAD shingles. I got a few bumps on the back of my neck and a weird fever that would spike late at night, causing me to feel really tired and like lying down on the tile floor in the kitchen was a good idea. I got the vaccine on Tuesday. Four days later, my arm is still sore. I also had the pleasure of having to get up to go to the bathroom a dozen times a night, which interrupted the extremely vivid (and bizarre dreams)- Elton John? and a female organized crime boss, whose daughter attended a dance academy? where people were going to set up claymore mines? and I was an informant who had to get to a SPECIFIC address to use a phone built into a... tiki hut kiosk.. to call my handlers?

    That's why I always just hope for some Western or war movie or caper film I have seen 200 times when I feel like crap. If I zone out through part of it- no big loss.

    But the POINT (if I have one) is... I am hoping everything works as advertised for you, boss. Being in pain all the time is just... soul-killing. Take care of yourself as best you can and listen to the nice medical people, who are TOTALLY NOT just using you for arcane research purposes.

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  2. i have a partially injured spinal cord at c5/c6. robbed me of my career, my hobbies… my life. started esketamine treatments last month, and while they can’t restore my motor skills, they’ve reduced my pain about a third. the only thing i thought about before the treatments was suicide. now i have just enough hope to true to see some sort of existence for myself moving forward!

    i wish you the best in your journey. explore all options, no matter how whacky. may the mancy be with you.

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