On the Other Side of Pain

Finished up the second side of my RFA last week and I'm feeling about as amazing as I get.  Haven't felt this good since before I hurt myself at physio.  Really highlights how much I've been struggling these last few months.  So much so that I'm actually worried about how bad what I wrote during that period is going to look once I dive fully into this readthrough/edit on MAXIMUS MASQUERADE.

Pain can be really insidious in a lot of small ways that have nothing to do with "ouch".  The exhaustion and brain fog of it is something those that haven't experienced chronic pain probably don't imagine, but they are just as utterly crippling as spikes flaring in your back.  Now, with this nerves burned out...it's literally like a switch got flicked.  Not just the pain gone.  Better all around.  More energy.  More optimism.  Ready to tackle problems and chores and all 200 pages piled up on my desk.

Was very tired, very depressed, and not happy with anything I wrote...well, a couple scenes were fun.  All glory to Mama Welf!  The biggest problem of it is that when a bad mood bleeds into King Henry then he's just extra cynical and biting, but when it's Vicky...that doesn't really work and I need to go through and take the optimism and energy I have now and really scrub those pages.  Of course, given how miserable I was...maybe those pages aren't as bad as I think they are and, truthfully, wouldn't be even the hundredth time I'd written a first draft, thought it was completely shit, and then immediately turned it around with a "FUCK AM I GOOD!!!"

Recap:  feeling better, have energy, plan to use it on editing and then more new stuff!

RFA Week

And boy do I need it!

So...probably won't be much new writing for the rest of the month.  I've printed everything I have so far for MAXIMUS MASQUERADE and WAR TO END ALL WARS to get some editing done while I'm stuck in bed.  Also been busy the last month doing research on MOST OBVIOUS TRAP, lot of books and documentaries on East and Southeast Asian history and mythology.  Currently working my way through "A History of Japan" by Mason and Caiger for a very technical dry read and "Tokyo Vice" by Adelstein for a slight more sketchy source of inspiration (anyone that can dispute his story is dead and its kinda sus, but hey, great story!  looking forward to checking out the HBO show when I finish).  Have a massive list/pile to get through.  If anyone has any recs for that area of the world, by all means throw me a comment below.

Obviously I've got a better understanding of it than probably the vast majority of Americans (fuck you, RR, I LIVE on TikTok, I'm WAY more "knowledge" than YOU about the TRUTH!!!) and did some work, especially on the mythology side, when creating the Vampire Divines and their backstory, but I'm always interested to learn more and fill in my (still massive) gaps.  Got a recent fan mail from a Bulgarian pointing out they study English starting in the 4th grade, so...my bad on Valko's linguistic troubles.  Although...if the whole of Bulgaria has to take a hit just so I can make that wonderful "you sound like bitch in heat" joke...comedy = first, right?

Point is, I try, I fail, I purposely ignore the truth at times too.  Also Valko is a huge butcher job of a name.  Not the worst I've accidentally done, granted, since calling a Filipina girl Malaya is a bit on the point, but then we have people called America now, so...why not?  Also, Raj Malik means King King.  And there was that whole accidentally naming an EXTREMLY MINOR character after a Manson Family member...yeah...did that...changed it super quick!  She was actually named for my aunt (Leslie) and Von Houten means "forest" or something like that, not looking it up.  Which I think means it's all my grandmother's fault and I'm blameless.

I actually think naming Urban Fantasy characters is kind of a surprisingly difficult part of the genre, since there are only so many names in the real world, many of them very, very boring.  You only get so many Rick Browns, man!  Unlike my high school, which had an easy dozen Jennifers.  And the amount of German names I've looked through to figure out all the Welfs!  Meanwhile, I can name an elf Pougpaellieth and no one bats an eye, right?  So much easier!  Lucky epic fantasy writers!

Talk to you all in August, hopefully I'll be able to sit up for longer than half an hour by then.  Also currently playing Metaphor Re Fanzsomething, which is fantasy Persona and fun, but is also fantasy Persona, so...gameplay feels quaint in a post Clair Obscura world.  Watching the Bear Season 4...will refrain from making any comments on its quality to not repeat my effusive praise of Season 3 before it went absolutely nowhere.  Daredevil Born Again after that.  Reading?  New Penric and Des novella just released, yay!

Stay cool! (Fresno is only in the low 90s this week!  woot!)

Finished A Chapter

It's a miracle!

My fault.  One of those oh it's a bridge chapter, no reason to expect it will be that long mistakes where it kept growing and growing.

Feel like I'm slightly short of the halfway mark.  Also very aware some scenes earlier in the novel now need at least partially rewritten since I've got some characters flip flopping quite severely, though granted, one of them forced the change upon me while I was writing a scene.  Might also cut here and there so we get to the main event quicker (this chapter being suspect number one), which I'm firmly into working on now.  Welf Gala here we come!

I have no doubt this novel will get hit with the "too slow" and "nothing happens" complaints, since it's all familial and political maneuvering without a single bit of violence.  Though I think Moira's tongue can cause more lasting harm to a person than any of her Constructs' fists and the novel is stacked with many revelations , both for the characters, the world, and um...all that lovey dovey stuff you'd never expect out of the Welfs.

My back is utterly horrible right now and I'm typing this very quickly since sitting up for longer than fifteen minutes without breaks is currently impossible.  Can't wait for the RFA next month!

Well, onto the next chapter, for now titled:  The Battle for Tyson Bonnie.

Alternate Title:  How Dare She Give Me A Pink Dress.

Steady as We Go

Writing when I can, catching up on the last 5 years of gaming on my rest days, still annoyed by appointments but they're not as overwhelming as when I was doing physio.  So...just in the grind.  Trying to ignore, ya know...the whole world since...fuck me, I guess I wasn't cynical enough about this species.

Pain's been worse and been better.  Still trying to get the insurance to give me MRIs with the hopes of launching me back down the surgery path, next round of RFAs are set to start at the end of July, so I'll need a week recovery for each side, but outside of that just trying to keep things chill as I delve into the Welf Gala proper.

Some really fun party crashers coming up I get to spend some time with...it's one of those moments where I wish I could film people's reactions when they read it.

Quick Fire Reviews on Every Game I've Played Since Diving Back In:

Mario vs Rabbids:  Spark of Hope = 7 (too easy, first game was better)

Unicorn Overlord = 9 (just what I needed for a tactical fantasy adventure)

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim  = 8.5 (not much game to it, but the story was super fun to work through with plot twists galore)

Yakuza Like a Dragon = 7 (nothing great, nothing horrible, too long, which is a massive trend I've noticed, first game in the series I've played, so none of the big character moments hit for me)

Astro Bot = 9 (I'm not a platform guy, but haptic features were super fun)

Hogwarts Legacy = 7 (amazing first five hours exploring Hogwarts and Hogsmeade that just kinda becomes an open world game with too many quests and so so characters)

Midnight Suns = 7 (yikes dialogue, enjoy card battlers so...it's my jam)

Guardians of the Galaxy = 9 (this game was so much better than I was expecting, surprised to find out it sold so poorly, it's a blast of a 20 hours well spent)

Horizon:  Forbidden West = 7.5 (too long, too huge, the weapon upgrade aspect was a massive grind, killing big enemies was either boring based on OP freeze into spikes or just took forever chipping at health bars, how many siblings did I save in side quests?  A dozen?  Main quest was fun, but it was only 1/3 of the game) 

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 = 10 (GOTY, my favorite game since at least God of War 2018, maybe the Witcher 3, still thinking about it, itching for DLC and Sequel and maybe even the first New Game Plus I've bothered with since Mass Effect 2, will be writing FM7 to its soundtrack)

Dragon Age Veilguard = 3 (i have never played a game, especially an RPG which we can admit trends towards more intellectual players, that thought I had a 50 IQ before.  MIND NUMBING.  Every bit of dialogue is exposition repeating itself over and over, I didn't hate some of the companions which is the best we can say about that, the romance was HR PG nonsense, it somehow made me look fondly on Mass Effect Andromeda in comparison, I guess it was pretty at least)

Spider Man Miles Morales = 7.5 (fun little appetizer focusing on smaller scale spider man stories)

Spider Man 2 = 8 (it makes you feel like spider man, moving through the city is fun, the plot had a few fun moments, boss battles had too many stages since they were just the same thing over and over, Peter was super boring, too much open world crap again)

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle = 8.5 (not what I expected gameplay wise, but once I coped, had a ton of fun, best Indiana Jones story since Last Crusade, Troy Baker killed the voice, Disguises are so OP they trivialize the game, again a lot of open world find 30 ancient dildos crap, no, really they totally look like ancient dildos!)

Ratchet and Clank Rift Apart = 8.5 (it's a very pretty Ratchet and Clank game and hey, it's only about 15 hours long!  It's a miracle!)

Improving and Back At It

Just wanted to say I am back to writing, here and there, and the pain has returned to not-fun but manageable levels for me.  Physio is probably a thing of the past, since I'm scared of a repeat and just having that appointment every week and needing a couple days in bed to recover after was playing havoc on its own.

So, yeah, hoping for some boring normal over this summer and just tapping away at the phone pumping out new scenes.  Really enjoying the one I'm writing now, in fact...and the next one I get to introduce a new Welf for ya'll!