Who's been distracted?
This fucking guy!
Anyway, "War of End All Wars" will very much be the longest school story ever told, will be a nice send off to that timeline, and merits it's own novel. Still a lot of plot to work through, but I'm hopeful.
Surgery is still a go. Pre-Op on Wednesday. Also some testing, including a Covid test, so...yay! So much fun! Get to have my brain molested by a q-tip. Have to be at the hospital by 6AM on Friday, so super early fun time for all that. Paperwork said I should be out in a couple days, but we'll see. Also they don't seem to want to give me any of the fun pills, so I'm hoping the pain shouldn't be too bad.
Other than that...well, I have all this typed up work, and you've all been very kind and considerate, so I thought I'd throw you some pages, even in a very incomplete state that they are. All rights reserved by me, Richard Raley. Please do not copy and paste but link back here. In a very early draft and subject to change. Yada, yada, yada, most of you already skipped ahead...
“My
name is King Henry Price. I…am a
Hep. Which means I am in my seventh and
last year at this here Institution of Elements, Learning Academy and Nature
Camp. As such, it is my duty to waste a
significant amount of time keeping you lot from killing yourself as your student-advisor. In case it hasn’t been made clear to you, you
are Ultra Class 2015. Which means you’re
just a tiny bit special. Get to live in
this nice dorm all together. Get me
cleaning up your mistakes. Maybe. No promises.
Probably depends on my mood or how big of an asshole you are.
“See, even if you are a tiny bit specially,
you’re still Singles. Which means you
don’t know shit. Yes, even if your daddy
or your mommy is someone important. You. Don't. Know. Shit!
“Some of you do know me, or at least know of me, I can tell it by your terrified expressions. I do love making me some
juicy rumors, oh yes I fucking do!
Guessing me popping up is a bit of a surprise, ain’t it? They put the Foul Mouth in charge of us, what
were they thinking?!?!
“For you uninitiated in this one-in-a-million
world: yes, you heard right, my name
really is King Henry Price. Yes, my nom
de guerre really is the Foul Mouth. Really
tall, blond Nazi Asshole just couldn’t help himself and the title stuck. Don’t worry, ain’t one of those Voldemort
situations like the fucktard on the TV.
I am perfectly fine with you calling me Foul Mouth. It’s my being. It’s my mantle. It’s my fucking crown and a King I am, a King I say, yes I am!"
“So…you can call me King Henry, Foul Mouth,
or Your Majesty. Do not call me Mr.
Price or I will punch you in the dick.
Oh…about the curse words. You’re
probably thinking: adults aren’t
supposed to talk like that! Guess
what? I don’t know about the adult part,
but I fucking talk like this. So get
fucking used to it. I changed a whole
lot these last six years, but the curse words ain’t something I’m letting go.”
Class 2015 looked extremely cowed and overwhelmed, even the Old Mancy kids.
So
far, so good.
And
everyone thought I’d suck at this!