FM5 Tease #3: King Henry Drives

I hooked a turn into the parking lot with the rent-a-car and slammed on the brakes, barely even skidding out as we came to a stop.  GPS navigator said it would take sixteen minutes, I did it in ten.  Shows what the fucking computers know.  Maybe I went through someone’s yard a couple times to cut some street signs . . . it was an emergency!

Ain’t quite a motorcycle with two uzis and a chick in an American flag bikini on my lap, but at least I got to drive for once.  Rented car with a nerdy black guy, a patrician with a stick up his ass, and a dead woman . . . I’ll take it!

As the car came to a stop, T-Bone gave a little scream—not for the first time—unbuckled himself hurriedly, and rolled his way out of the car as quickly as he could.

Welf followed, swaying to his feet and steadying himself with his stupid ass cane.

Only the dead woman seemed to be in the game, exiting like a perfect lady despite the man’s suit she wore.

I unclawed my fingers from the steering wheel, twisting the keys to turn off the hybrid engine.  Didn’t use any electric cruising on that drive, no we did not!  I kicked open my door and stepped outside.

There was a new dent on the fender.

Wonder what I hit?

“We’re still alive,” T-Bone wheezed to himself.  “Thank God we’re still alive.”

Two weeks!

FM5 Release Date, Cover, and Blurb

Release Date:

MAY 22ND!!!!!

Coverage:

If it's yellow, let it mellow!

Blurbage:

My name is King Henry Price.  Yes, really.  You'd think you'd be over that one by now.  I'm the only freelance Artificer in the Western Hemisphere, crafting and experimenting to make objects of unique magical power.  I'm also a geomancer, means I'm good at breaking metal, glass, and all the other important parts that keeps that box-like house over your head and not crashing down on it. 

Few months back I told my mentor and the money behind my Artificer shop to get lost.  Told her I didn't need her any more.  Some actions have unintended consequences.  Got a new partner now, T-Bone I call him, even if he hates the nickname.  Electromancer, makes him good with computers.  Not sure what makes him good at business, probably being raised by an accountant. 

Rebuilt my shop again.  One little fire-bombing, no big deal, right?  Doing things MY way this time around, rebuilt it as a comic shop.  Even got us a geeky employee at the cashbox knows too much about pop-culture for her own good.  But that's just the front, the fake, the illusion.  Real work is in the back.  Selling artifacts to all comers now.  Vampires, shapeshifters, mancers, don't got no choice. 

Can't complain.  Business is booming.  Life is good. 

Except for those unintended consequences...

Once again:

MAY 22ND!!!!!

FM5 Dramatis Personae Sneak Peek

Since the growing cast of characters in THE KING HENRY TAPES will only continue to grow in the future, I decided it was time to add a Dramatis Personae at the start of the books.  Mostly to provide a small reminder for your poor little brains.  It serves as a halfway measure between nothing at all and the Traditionally Approved method of info dump after info dump polluting the first third of every novel, a tactic I loathed as a reader and refuse to use as an author but sparingly.  Especially in THE KING HENRY TAPES with the way time actually moves between books and you needed caught up on what's happened since the last page you read anyway.

Too much dumpage!

But on the other hand I realize that a complete Dramatis Personae has a bad habit of spoiling just who might pop up in this specific novel and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?  Which is why I'm only updating the Personae to the characters we're aware of and what they've done by the end of the last novel.  Spoilers for FM4 if you still haven't read it though, obviously, you horrible fan, you!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

(When we last left our heroes)

KING HENRY AND HIS ALLIES

King Henry "Foul Mouth" Price – Geomancer, Ultra? – The Foul Mouth, Artificer for Hire, Wielder of a World-Breaker, Chosen of Meteyos, the Dirt King

Valentine “Boomworm” Ward – Pyromancer, Ultra – A Recruiter, Ceinwyn Dale’s Heir Apparent, King Henry’s Girlfriend, The Fire Queen

Tyson “T-Bone” Bonnie – Electromancer, Ultra – Electronic and Online Security Consultant, Video Game Geek, Keeping King Henry Out of Too Much Trouble for Ceinwyn Dale

Ceinwyn Dale – Aeromancer, Ultra – Head of Recruiting for the Asylum, The Last True Dale, King Henry’s Former Financial Backer, Friend of Annie B and Ward of Nii-Vah, Likely Candidate to Replace the Lady

Miranda Daniels – Aeromancer, Ultra – A Teacher at the Asylum, The Ginger Nemesis, Valentine Ward’s Best Friend and Roommate

Jason Jackson – Corpusmancer, Ultra – A Recruiter, Best Friend of Heinrich Welf

Estefan Ramirez – Electromancer, Ultra – A Junior ESLED Agent Assigned to Northern California, Married to Debra Ramirez (nee Diaz)

Eva Reti – Sciomancer, Ultra – ESLED Agent, Learning Council’s Fixer, King Henry’s Ex

Naomi Gullick – Floromancer, Ultra – A Teacher at the Asylum, King Henry’s Ex, She Doesn't Like Talking About It

Old Man Price – King Henry’s Dad, Works in a Warehouse, Finally Began Dating Again

Susanna Belle Price – King Henry’s Eldest Sister, Whereabouts Unknown, Last Heard About in Seattle

THE VAMPIRE EMBASSIES

Nii-Vah – Vampire Divine, Mistress of Justice, Guardian of Ceinwyn Dale, Friend of Humanity?

Inanina – Vampire Divine, Mistress of War, the Headless Hunny, Sister and Slayer of the Divine Eresha

Pwent – Vampire Divine, Mistress of Coin and of the Great Bank, Plays All Sides

Moshi – Vampire Divine, Master of Flesh

Annie B – Vampire Baroness, Wears the Shell of Anne Boleyn, Had a One Night Stand with King Henry, Killed Joannie D, Knows the Truth about King Henry Price

Moore – A Gentlewoman Vampire, Assigned to the San Francisco Embassy, Has Trice Crossed Paths with King Henry, Offered Information on “The Fall of Atlas”

Linebacker – A Gentleman Vampire, Security for the San Francisco Embassy

Eresha – DECEASED, Vampire Divine, Slain by Inanina with the Help of Mordecai Root

Joannie D – DECEASED, Wore the Shell of Joan of Arc, Vampire Countess, Slain by Annie B with King Henry’s Help

THE WERE NATIONS

Horatio Vega – Werecoyote – King of the Coyote Nation, a Poly-Were, King Henry’s Brother-in-Law

Jordan Josephine “JoJo” Vega – Werecoyote – King Henry’s Sister, a Poly-Were

Hector Vega – Werecoyote – DECEASED, Vega’s Nephew, Attempted to Kill King Henry, House Burnt Down by King Henry, Accidentally Slain by King Henry at the Auction of Illicit Wonders

Zoey Vega – Werecoyote – Hector’s Maybe Wife At Least Baby Mama

Overcoat – Werecoyote – DECEASED, One of Hector’s Boys

Tatterdemalion – Werecoyote – Assigned by King Vega to Guard Hector, Current Status Unknown

Sharp – Werepython – Vega’s Bodyguard and Enforcer

The Tsar – Wereraven – An Information Broker and Major Underworld Figure

Jarvis Washington – Faunamancer, Intra – Head of the Pitbull Nation, Lying About Being a Were, Officially Recognized by the Asylum

George Joseph “Go-Joe” McKenna IV – Wereotter – Vice President of the Otter Nation, Owns a Club, Total Mega Douchebag

THE CURATOR AND HIS ALLIES

Obadiah Paine – Geomancer, Ultra – The Curator, The Broken One, Thought Dead by the Asylum, Once in Love with Ceinwyn Dale, Wants King Henry as his Apprentice, Seeks to Save the World

Conan Sapa – Corpusmancer, Intra – Gunman for Hire, Kidnaps and Procures Missed or Passed Over Mancer Children for Paine’s Purposes

OTHER POWERS

METEYOS – Dragon – Lord of the Geo Realm, The Killer of Fools, One of the Thirteen, Imprisoned

POUGPAELLIETH – Sawaephim – Templar of Meteyos, Friend of King Henry, Imprisoned in the Geo Realm

FM5 Mini Tease #2

"I got this shit.  Assuming I can get through the casino without licking the wall for thirty minutes cuz of how tasty it looks."

FM5 Mini Tease #1

"I don't hate you because you're rich, Welf.  I hate you because you're an asshole."