Status Updates

Status Updates

The Pit of No Return (FM6) is OUT!!!

Main Focus: Gush (Fantasy Action/Aventure YA) Novel, First Draft = 16k out of 100k estimate (16%)

Side Focus #1: Assault on Dread Fortress Paine (Post FM6 Novella) = 6k out of 30k estimate (20%)

Side Focus #2: Mancy Family Dinner (Post FM6 Novella) = 7k out of 30k estimate (23%)

Back Burner #1: FM7 School Story = 0k out of 80k estimate (0%)

Back Burner #2: Super Secret Awesome Project

Other Stuff I Need to Get To: FM3-FM6 concordance updates

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Update to Explain Lack of Updates (Plus FM5.5 Release Date)

It's been awhile.

Wish all the news was good, most of the news is good, just...well, I've been sick on and off since Thanksgiving.  Three times.  First two weren't too bad but the last one sucked whole bunches.

But, RR, you haven't updated since before Halloween!

And the reason for that at first was very good news.  November 1st I went into Mad Scientist mode and finally started working on FM6.  Enter a glorious two weeks were I wrote 4 chapters and began what is going to be such an awesome book.  Seriously, so excited for it, just the beginning and all this cool stuff is happening.  Last book I had to write chapters of drunk and mopping King Henry at this point, but THIS time the Crazy is out in full force.  I can't go into more detail without spoiling you, and harping on it probably just gives you pain, so I'll stop now.  Point is:  having fun writing it, it's everything I expected it to be, can't wait to go back into Mad Scientist mode.

Then Fallout 4 happened...my bad.  About ten days later I finally pulled myself away from one-shotting deathclaws with my gauss rifle loving AGI-LUCK build and got around to productivity again.  Still haven't finished the game, it's waiting there for me, eager to steal another week of my life, but so far I've been strong.

And sick.

But first I got in the final edit on King Henry Short Pack Two.  Which I'm really happy with, especially the Eva novella.  There's also a Plutarch-KH conversion in it that makes me bust up laughing every time I read it.  It's great stuff.  It's also kind of necessary stuff.  Having started FM6 and suddenly realizing how much I bring up things that happen in King Henry Short Pack Two in the beginning chapters, King Henry Short Pack Two really has become FM5.5 more than I expected it to.  Maybe that's a dick move on my part, since I've never made shorts, be they 20 pages or 80 pages, required reading, but this time...you'll feel lost if you don't pick it up.

It just kind of happened to grow in the making.  Hey, you put all those stories into a short pack, why not write a second short pack?  Why not make it three novellas that take place after FM5 on the same day?  Oh look, I accidentally wrote a short bridge novel.  Hope you all will enjoy it, it will be releasing on February 1st and it will be marked as FM5.5 when I publish it.

Then Thanksgiving with Mom's White Beans and Ham instead of turkey, yummy, then moderate sickness followed by barely deserves to be called sickness, followed by Lung Rattling, Maybe I'll Die in My Sleep sickness.  I can write while sick up to a certain point.  I don't ever like to, especially King Henry since he requires a certain amount of swagger, but I can and I did on and off.  Never Mad Scientist mode, but here and there with the editing and writing to almost finish another chapter.  But I'm also asthmatic, so if something really hits me, really goes into my lungs...it's not happening.  I'm a very grumpy, wheezing blob covered by blankets and surrounded by about twenty empty Kleenex boxes.  No writing in sight.  Unless it's a plea for help written in snot.

I finally felt decent yesterday, so I got back to the most important thing in my life...

I saw Star Wars:  The Force Awakens!

What?

Priorities, people.  I was sick and couldn't go opening weekend!  It was horrible!  Had to dodge spoilers for a whole week!  I barely made it.  Especially when the Visual Dictionary I ordered arrived.  I almost spoiled myself with my own fandom prowess!

Movie was awesome.  Not perfect, but awesome.  Star Wars is awesome again!  I don't have to feel the weight of disappointment and defend the indefensible!  The relief!  Go see it...like three or four times, I know I will.

Now, I'm talking to you to explain things and tomorrow I'll finally boot up the writing laptop.  One month successful, one month wasted, this is life as a writer.

Feb 1st, FM5.5, get ready!  I'll be posting some previews/samples leading up to it, probably a small scene from each novella.  Don't expect a full on novel, but... relevant shit happens!  Yay!

Friday, October 23, 2015

Quick Notes #7

1.  Following a huge burst of writing, I've finished the first draft on King Henry Short Pack Two.  As has been the plan, I won't be stopping to edit it right away.  One, because I like writing over edit hell.  Two, the entire point of this short pack is to give me some breathing room with Amazon's algorithm punishments for not publishing for over a year.

2.  King Henry Short Pack Two comes in at 60k words, or about 200 pages.  Shit happens in them.  It's all mainline stuff, it's all post FM5.  You're going to want to read this set of stories.  "Driving Miss Vicky" has T-Bone and Vicky at the Coyote Compound, or as they call it First Lie Ranch.  "Shadow Running" flashes back and forth between the Lady and Evelyn Strange's attempts to save Eva Reti and the mistakes that got her into her coma.  "Home is Where the Crazy Is" sees King Henry return to the Asylum, with the thought of asking Plutarch to help him with something, but ending up with lots of conversations with lots of people.  No, it's not required reading, but...you'd hate yourself as a fan of the series if you skipped it.  Again:  shit happens.  War.  Peace.  Death.  Taxes.

3.  So, I put FM6 up on the status updates.  I outlined it today...the outline itself was three thousand words.  I am not an in-depth outliner.  This probably gives you some idea of how massive and epic this novel will be.  It's going to take me awhile to write it.  I've estimated it at 200k words and 32 chapters (8 of which are school story).  I will probably start working on it within the next month.  If I've underestimated this one then the Mancy help us.

4.  Speaking of the school story...I'm really worried about the school story this time around.  Epic, remember?  I've always felt a need to really balance the action between the two timelines so the average reader (I'm sure there are outliers) doesn't become very annoyed by the change from one to the next.  I've been a reader on occasion, I know what happens when you're reading a book, in a groove, then you get to the POV that's either not as interesting as the others or just plain dreadful.  You stop fucking reading for awhile.  "Guess I'll start with that crap tomorrow, shitty ass Elayne chapters!"

5.  Being worried about the school story, I might have to play with it a bit more than I have in the past.  Stack the school story so it ends quite a bit for the insane shit happening at the end of FM6 starts and the like.  Guess we'll see what comes up when writing it all.  I'm writing the mainline first this time around.  So, could be months and months before I get to 18-year-old King Henry.

6.  Gush is still a thing, I promise!

7.  Going to try to get back to doing the editing and formatting for the print-on-demand editions early next year.  I might just do FM1 first as a test and then have the others follow.  One thing I'm waiting on is the "first female president will be a MILF joke" in FM2, cuz...we might have a first female president soon and ya know...the story takes place in 2018.  Might have to change that joke.  Or the Donald could save me...screw the rest of the country, but save me some work...so ya know...look on the bright side???

8.  Time is catching up on me, I imagine as we near the end of the series the real world will pass it by and it will feel much more alt world than before.  FM6 takes place six months after FM5 btw.

9.  Star Wars Trailer...HOLY FUCKBALLS!!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Quick Notes #6

1.  FM2 and FM3 have returned to their usual price at $3.99.  I only saw about a 20% increase in sales and when you consider I gave up $2.35 in profit for each one to drop it down to not only a lower price but a lower royalty percentage for me...well, we won't be doing that again.  It is however nice to know that once readers get hooked on the series with FM1 that the price point of the next book has little impact on whether they pick all of them up.

2.  Continuing with some interesting business side stats for those of you that might be Indie authors yourself one day, I gave away about 2k worth of books this month and saw a 5% pickup rate of those possible readers becoming "fans" (people who go through and buy the second latest book in the series; since the newest book has old fans returning even this late in release it usually isn't a good idea to use it as a measuring stick ever).  This is very different from people who end up picking up FM1 during a new release period, where I see 40 to 50% of them carry on through the series, which shows to me that releases are far more valuable than the vast majority of internet advertising you can do (Bookbub probably being the exception).

3.  That being said...The Betrothal will be free on Amazon from October 1st to October 5th.  So if you're interested in checking out the first book I ever finished writing and about exploding cushions and how exactly a hippo takes a crap, grab it then.

4.  Still working on King Henry Short Pack Two.  I'm pretty excited by it.  It's not a full Foul Mouth book, but it has quite a bit more weight to it than a normal short has in the past.  I really hope that when it is released next year, that more fans try it than usually do with the short stories, because you'll be missing out if you don't.  It's three interconnecting novellas on the same day, two weeks after FM5, so calling it FM5.5 isn't really wrong to do.

5.  That being said, it's not as awesome as FM6 is going to be, cuz I mean...wow...FM6.  Just you guys and gals wait until you read it 5 or so years from now.  Dang, what an epic book.

6.  Haven't worked much on Gush, which is bad of me.  Me not working on Gush is kind of Gush's history though.  Eventually...one day we'll get there Ullie and Merr.

7.  Foul Mouth Survey of the Month:  Which of King Henry's "villains" do you HATE/DESPISE/ICKY-POO  the most?

Monday, September 14, 2015

Quick Notes #5

1.  Fuck cockroaches and black widows.  Yes, the drought in Fresno has just made everything lovely with every water-seeking pest on the planet.  Please, El Nino, rain, floods, whatever, just don't go Noah on our parched asses.

2.  I've given away over two thousands copies of FM1 this month thanks to advertising promos, let's hope this means more super fans for you lot to play and argue with.

3.  King Henry Short Pack One is selling better than I thought it would for an anthology of already released short stories, nice to see people who have stayed away from the shorts finally join the club.

4.  I've been focusing on writing King Henry Short Pack Two for the last three weeks.  It's about a third done, all three novellas have been started and are partially complete.  As usual with my shorts (even if they're way longer than the older ones) my goal is more slice-of-life and holiday special than an epic, twist-filled adventure like with the novels themselves.  Lots of world-building, lots of POVs you don't get to see when everything is from King Henry's viewpoint, more flesh and less blood.

5.  Even if I finish King Henry Short Pack Two in the next month, don't expect it before 2016.  I will not be stopping to edit it, but will instead be continuing the hard work on Gush and will start in on FM6.  After months of real life and my brain being mush I am finally into a decent (if not amazing) writing groove this month and don't plan on interrupting it with Edit Hell.

6.  Watching Netflix's Narcos (amazing series btw) while T-Bone and Vicky are in the middle of the Coyote Compound is great mood synergy!

7.  Foul Mouth Survey of the Month:  Who is your favorite non-KH character in the King Henry Tapes?  Bonus Points for saying why!

Monday, August 31, 2015

King Henry Short Pack One Released + 4th Anniversary for the Tapes

King Henry Short Pack One, the occasionally asked for anthology version with all presently released King Henry Shorts is now out!  I repeat again:  it has no new material.  It contains "Little King Henry", "Conquering Hero", "Friendship is Madness", "Second Take", "Griefing" and "Meet the Bonnies."

If you haven't read any of the short stories, it's a great deal!  Six of them in one place for only 2.99, that's 50% off buying them separately.  How much content is it?  About 200 pages of stuff, some in the School Story, others in the Mainline, just sprinkled around all over the place.  If you're at all interested in how King Henry met T-Bone, or Vicky Welf's introduction into the series, or need to know all the details about the Spy Van Incident, it's in there, plus more.

If you have read the short stories and are a complete super fan, then thank you, first of all!  Second of all, all you're getting from this is the formatting of having the stories in one file on your Kindle.  Or the joy of going the extra mile to support your favorite author with 2 whole dollars.  Yippie!

Linkage:
King Henry Short Pack One by Richard Raley on Amazon Kindle

As for King Henry Short Pack Two, still working on that one!  Have started two of the three novellas that are going to be inside of it, so far so good.  Also still working on Gush, Ullie and Merr are currently trying to find a place where they won't get stabbed to death in their sleep.  Plus Real Life has struck with family and dentists and doctors and room remodeling.  Updated all the old files and blurbs and stuff last night too.  Writing stuff so much more fun than real life stuff.  Oh...I'm currently fighting with my cat to decide if my new comfy recliner-as-writing-chair is mine or if I'm merely renting it from her.

Also still chipping away at the Print-on-Demand versions of the series.  Finished the copyedits for FM1, 1/3 of the way for FM2.  After that you have formatting, then me messing with Createspace, so we're getting there slowly.  Hey, at least I've started, right?

Quick!  Distract them with King Henry Short Pack Two Teasage:
"Mostly it’s just about the fact that you have a penis and that it’s been between my legs in my precious, Welf, baby-spewing womb.”
Last, it is the 4th Anniversary for the release of FM1 on September 1st!  Woohoo!  In that time I've gone from no fans to thousands of them!  King Henry has gone from a punk who doesn't know about extended pooling to a powerful mancer on the cusp of understanding and greatness!  T-Bone even got laid, how about that?

In honor of the anniversary, I'm putting FM2 and FM3 on sale at 99 FREAKIN' CENTS each for the month of September.  That's two bucks for the first three books in the series.  1000 pages of Pulpanormal, Urban Fantasy goodness!  If you have friends or family who haven't made the leap, tell them to get in on the action now.  Cuz that's cheap even by my standards and probably won't be happening again for a long time.  I've also set up advertising runs with Ereader News Today and Freebooksy, because I have new book money and new fans are awesome.

See?  I've been busy.  Just not...FM6 busy.  Did have a couple really awesome ideas for it though...

Now if you're excuse me, I'm sick of this "Real Life" stuff and will be going hermit for the foreseeable future.  Books to finish after all!  Keep all you monsters from threatening me with whips and chains and calling me a lazy fat-ass.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Sky-Island Free Week + Minor Updates

As I said in my last post, Sky-Island 1827-E is free on the vast variety of Amazon sites and ereaders this week, through the 7th.  So if you haven't read that book yet, now is the perfect time to get started!

Sky-Island 1827-E

Update-wise, I'm still getting my ass kicked by real life with dentist appointments for the next couple weeks.  Other than that, I've been piddling about with Gush, pretty happy with where that book is headed now, and I just started a readthrough/format pass on FM1 for the eventual Print-On-Demand version that should be coming...eventually.  But sooner than the old eventually, just...eventually.  Mostly it's about typos and commas, but a print book's formatting obviously sits differently than an ebook, so have to deal with that too.

So if you have any typos you hate in FM1-FM5, now's the time to email me about it before I start putting the book through Createspace...eventually.

But mostly, FREE BOOK:

Sky-Island 1827-E

August 3rd through the 7th.

GRAB IT.

READ IT.

ENJOY IT.


Monday, July 20, 2015

Sky-Island and The Betrothal Join KDP Select


As I said early this month, Sky-Island 1827-E and The Betrothal have both now been placed in the KDP Select program, making them exclusive to Amazon reading devices and Amazon reading programs.  That's the slightly bad part of the whole deal, the good part is that if you have Amazon Prime or are a member of Amazon Unlimited, you can now pick up both books under the "borrow" feature.  Which makes them, Kinda-Sort Free at all times.

In addition to this, The Betrothal has gotten an updated 2100 by 1400 pixel cover and a new 2015 edition with the fewest number of typos in its rocky history.  It being my debut novel, I did not have a beta reading team at the time, and it was SO OLD that it even got published back when Amazon only required 600 by 400 covers.  THE DARK AGES.


For those that don't know, The Betrothal is a Bromance New Adult Romantic Comedy that was written just for me to learn how to write and finish a book before I moved on to more serious stuff and characters dearer to my heart.  Don't go into it expecting King Henry, all the curse words are even BLEEPED out.  The horror!

As for Sky-Island, to celebrate and just cause I can, I will be enrolling it for a Free Promotion that anyone can pick up on Amazon, from August 3rd to August 7th.  So if you're a fan, old or new, keep an eye out on that one.  If you read the book and like it, or have read the book and like it, then please think about leaving a review.  It only has 5 reviews!  Bad fans!  Letting  your author down!

Check them out:
The Betrothal
Sky-Island 1827-E

Minor Update:  Wrote a little bit on Gush and Short Pack 2 before I got into this publishing side stuff, going to start in on them again tonight.  Had a dentist appointment Thursday and have two more to get through in the next month (boo cavities!).  Plus...TI5 starts next Sunday, so...yeah, that always kicks my ass.  King Henry Short Pack 1 looks like it will come out the first week of September.  I'll be doing a lot of updating of files and blurbs that same day, so the "books by RR" sections are all updated and everything.  After that I'll probably get into working on the print-on-demand edits for FM1.

As I warned, lots of stuff happening, not exactly the fun part that I love about the job:  writing.  But, we'll get there.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

First Sentences, Jury Duty, and New Beginnings

Jury duty has been survived.  Was pretty much on call all week until they made me come in today.  Some coffee, metal-detecting, and a forced watching of "Night at the Museum" later (including having to listen to Ben Stiller blaring out of speakers while in the restroom)  I survived being picked for two possible trials and am free from Fresno County's tyrannies for the next year.

July 4th is of course this weekend...which for you non-Americans means I get to enjoy explosions and gunfire and dogs and cats trying to sit on top of my head, not exactly prime writing situations, but after that on the 5th I will begin work anew on Gush!  Which is awesome.

Gush is based on a short story I wrote in 2009 called "Down the River" about two women involved in a magical death race who concoct a plan to win the race by "running" a river that bisects the course zone.  The idea of turning it into a full fledged novel was always one I liked and "Down the River" was expanded and outlined and became "Gush" during my 2010/2011 brainstorming period for stand alone novels to write.

I wrote the first chapter which takes place during the start of the death race and made two false starts at continuing work on it, both of which went backwards in time to when our two leads met and then when our two leads returned home for the pre-race festivities.  Both times I felt like I was overdoing character motivations and missing the point and thus tossed out the chapters I'd written.  Instead I've come to the conclusion that the story must be about the race and only what happens during the race and that everything surrounding it will be left to clues and mystery and the occasional character comment.

So it really does feel like I'm starting the novel all over again.

Which is great, because I love starting novels!  I'm getting to start 3 of them in the next year, plus 3 more novelette/novellas and there's a bunch more novels I have sitting in the queue to get done in the next few decades.  Something I do even before I "start" is open up the Word file, type in the title, do some formatting and maybe even outlining, and then come up with a first sentence for the book.  Perhaps it stays the same all the way to release, perhaps it will be changed, but it is there as a placeholder.  The story exists outside of my head, have to put in the work one day and give it a shot at being finished.

So to honor all the new beginnings here's some first sentences for you from future books that will hopefully one day be completed, for you fans to salivate and gnash your teeth over.

Gush:  Ullie's feet itched to be away, but the thick lines of pennants blocked any hope of getting an early start on the Great Course.

Where Do Dreamers Go to Die?:  Have you ever woken up and felt like you were in the wrong dimension?

Scalesword Overdrive:  Sparks of unused magic drifted outside of the trolley's clasped window, the ward-lines surrounding the glass crackling each time a spark drifted too near.

Driving Miss Vicky:  Every time Tyson Bonnie descended the ladder, he was never sure what he would find below.

Shadow Running:  Today was the day, today was the day that Eva Reti lived or Eva Reti died.

No Man's Land:  "There's the pearly fucking gates, Mini," he told his passenger.

Rii Enslavement Book #1:  The slave's first mistake is getting caught.

The Five Gods Series Book #1:  He knew exactly how he was going to die, he was going to die choking, gasping, and pleading for one more breath.

Eat the Future:  Aricia's legs hung over the side of the walkway, dangling like skinny, brass-colored worms.

The Foul Mouth and the Artificial Court:  Can't say I'm a fan of getting arrested.

Will be writing for the next few months and not posting many updates.  Everyone have a fun summer!  Stay cool!  Kill ants!  Watch good movies!  Read good books!  Be the Batman!

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Quick Notes #4

1.  Still fuck ants.

2.  Fresno is really hot in July, who knew?

3.  Finished the formatting and editing on King Henry Short Pack One, should be up for sale in late August/early September.

4.  My side novels (Betrothal, Sky-Island, and Gush when I actually get to write it) are no longer purchasable on Smashwords/Apple/B&N and will be joining Kindle Select in July.  This will allow me to do limited free and bargain runs on them, allow you to pick them up through the Kindle Owners Lending Library if you have Amazon Prime, and even let me do advertising directly through Amazon if I so desire.  99% of side novel copies have been sold on Amazon, seems silly to not take advantage of this change up.  The King Henry Tapes and anything related to The King Henry Tapes will be unaffected.

5.  Kind of in standby mode at the moment waiting to see what happens with Jury Duty next week.  If my pleas for them to not take the poor-as-dirt self-employed writer are not met with kind ears, please do not be crazy fans and threaten to abduct any judges or lawyers like you always threaten to duct-tape me!

6.  Sales have been amaze-balls this month.  I have a chance to TRIPLE my best month ever.

7.  The Witcher 3 was awesome.  Good thing it released during this kind-of-vacation.  That sucked up some hours.

8.  Batman Arkham Knight is also crazy good.  More "holy crap Batman" moments than the Witcher 3 already and I'm only 1/5th of the way through it.

9.  Battlebots are back!

Friday, June 12, 2015

The Long Wait for FM6

So, FM5 is out, everyone at the very least enjoyed it, if not was ecstatic about it, and now we move into the Next Novel phase of the writer-fan-please-stop-threatening-me relationship.  Only, that novel isn't going to be FM6.  At least not right away.

For three reasons.


REASON ONE FOR YOUR PAIN

As the most self-published of Indie authors on the planet, I'm the only guy who really works on this stuff and I've been letting the writing part of that job push everything else to the side.  It's paid off.  My sales doubled last year.  They look like they might double this year too, or at least come close.  But, there have been problems and "chores" if you will that I've kept pushing off to the side.

"New material, new material, forget about everything else" has created a backlog of writer garbage if you will, that fans really don't think about much.  I've got my own files for all the information in the series and they haven't been updated since FM2.  So I need to take the time to work my way through FM3-FM5 and update them.  This way I can look at the information files, instead of trying to skim through every book trying to remember what the damn name of the European mancer school is or if Catherine Hayes had blue or green eyes or just millions of little continuity questions that pop up as you're writing.

It has also meant that everything I've written is still only digital because I've never taken the time to go through the Createspace process of making Print-on-Demand versions of the KHT.  So that's also on the list.

Third, I've been asked quite a few times to take all the King Henry Shorts and combine them together in a single anthology.  Especially now with "Meet the Bonnies" I have about 60k words in shorts and feel now is a good time to do so.  So formatting and editing KING HENRY SHORT PACK ONE and making some kind of cover of course is on the radar as well, probably August/September.

Chores:  Update Concordance Info, Format and Edit Short Pack One, and at least start the process of getting print-on-demand versions of the books done.


REASON TWO FOR YOUR PAIN

I'm fucking exhausted after FM5.

I always knew it was a bridge novel to get us to FM6, always knew it was the novel to move King Henry from college kid to actual adult, but I didn't expect it would take so much out of me or that it would be such a large book.  FM6 I know is going to be insane, knew from when I started the series was going to be insane, but if any novel in the series was going to be accused of being "filler" (aka: character stuff and not explosions) it would be FM5.  For some reason, in my head I connected "bridge" with "short" and...nope, not at all.  Was SO MUCH to get done and set up and resolve.

So the King Henry Price part of my brain is just wasted at the moment.  So wasted I had to take a break to write "Meet the Bonnies" WHILE WRITING FM5 or instead of finishing when I did I would currently be running naked through the streets screaming about shapeshifters.  So wasted that the King Henry Price part of my brain needs even more of a break.

Which is why the plan isn't to start in with FM6 right away, but to pick up on my other projects.  GUSH which I've already talked about, another shortish Fantasy/Spec-Fic novel called WHERE DO DREAMERS GO TO DIE? which is also set in the "Prisoners Cycle" overworld but just like GUSH and SKY-ISLAND will be stand-alone, and KING HENRY SHORT PACK TWO.  No more shorts by themselves.  Not sure how many short packs I'll be doing, but I'm going to do this one for sure.

It's kind of FM5.5 and all three novellas in it will be taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in FM5.  One will be a T-Bone story called "Driving Miss Vicky" (that's racist!) about T-Bone and Vicky visiting the Coyote Compound.  "Shadow Running" will involve Evelyn Strange and the Lady performing some high level stuff to bring Eva out of the coma, complete with flashbacks to the night in question.  Last, a novella I'm currently calling "No Man's Land" from King Henry's third person view like "Griefing" was, it will be about him visiting the Asylum and particularly with Plutarch, but maybe with some other people too.

I don't have A PLAN for which of these three books I'm putting priority on, probably GUSH if I was forced to pick one.  But mostly picking one would defeat the "take a working break" thing I'm trying to do here.  In fact, outside of SHORT PACK TWO coming out sometime before FM6, I have no expectations on any of these novels.  It's not a "write these three THEN get to FM6" scenario, so don't freak out that you're three or four or so years from FM6.  It's a "take four or five months to work on this stuff and recharge" scenario.

Because I'm going to need to be recharged.  FM6.  Man.  Need to be 110% percent for that one.  Probably start writing it in November or December.  Looking to get it out to your guys late 2016, very early 2017 (it's called the Long Wait, not the Non-Existent Wait!)

REASON THREE FOR YOUR PAIN

Jury Duty in July.  Booo!

IN SUMMARY

I hope you're all understanding on why I need to clear out the chores and also need recharged after three years of constant writing and ya know...blame the judicial system too.  Maybe I'll get a case about a guy having sex with a barnyard animal?  Here's hoping!

Trust me, the Long Wait for FM6 will be worth...the wait.

Friday, May 29, 2015

FM5 Question and Answer Session

Spoilers if you haven't read FM5, obviously.

Ask anything about FM5 or the series as a whole.

I reserve the right to RAFO you, but will try not to.

Don't be shy!

And don't leave me hanging!

Edit June 1st:  Taking a couple weeks off the net to get back into writing a little bit.  Will answer any more questions when I get back and also probably have an update on what I'll be working on for the next three/four/five months.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

FM5 iTunes Link, Plus Update on Updates

The Mancy Martial Artist on Apple iTunes

Smashwords just finally accepted the book for premium distribution, so should be a week or two for the Barnes and Noble link to show up.  Other than that, I'm trying to move away from vacation mode and back into writing mode.  Started working on WHERE DO DREAMERS GO TO DIE? (WDDGTD? in all future mentions) last night and just having a bit of fun with it.

Looking to have a FM5 Q&A thread up this weekend so you can all ask any questions you have about that book or the series as a whole then and in a couple weeks I'll put a more in-depth explanation of the Long Wait Until FM6 and what I'm focusing on in the near future.  Check out the status updates for a hint on that.

Overall...pretty happy right now.  FM5 is going at double the rate of what FM4 did.  Starting to see FM1 do the whole loss-leader free trick to potential fans, with a 25% pickup rate of them buying FM2.  So, your numbers grow, use them responsibly!  Reviews are better than I thought they would be actually.  I wrote a character-focused bridge novel and people called it "epic" and "action-packed", not bad!  Wait until they see FM6...they'll die of excitement!

Edit: I lied!

The Mancy Martial Artist on Barnes and Noble Nook

Thursday, May 21, 2015

FM5 is OUT!!! Happy Release Day!

IT'S OUT!!!

Still May 21st in King Henry's hometown of Fresno, but already May 22nd in most of the world, that's good enough for me and good enough for Amazon, who have apparently really sped up their publishing system.  What was once a 12 to 24 hour wait is now down to 3.  How about that?

Linkage:

The Mancy Martial Artist by Richard Raley on Amazon Kindle
The Mancy Martial Artist by Richard Raley on Amazon Kindle UK
The Mancy Martial Artist by Richard Raley on Smashwords

As always for my Nook and iPad readers, I distribute through Smashwords for Apple and B&N, so it takes up to two weeks to propagate into those systems and I will have the links for you when they show up.  Also I remind you that there's no DRM on my novels, so buying it through Smashwords or Amazon and then changing the file into whatever file type you want is perfectly fine with me as long as it's for your own personal use.

Other than that, everyone please enjoy!  It's a 600 page book, so take breaks, eat food, use the restroom, nod at your significant other or your parents when they ask you questions.  Also, don't damage your social standing or flunk out of school or lose your job while you're trying to read it as fast as you can.

Something important happens in the first chapter *gasp* better run and get at it!  When you finish, please think about leaving an honest review.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Why I Don't Let You Pre-Order and How You Can Be An Awesome Fan

Before last year I couldn't actually let you pre-order even if I wanted, but now that Amazon is allowing it, I'm still not giving you fans the chance.  So, why?

There are lots of small reasons but only one main reason and it all comes down to one word:  Algorithm.

For digitally published authors, the Amazon ranking algorithms and how to manipulate these algorithms and how to use these algorithms to your advantage take up a great deal of your thoughts and planning and even hopes and dreams.  Everything on Amazon is driven by numbers and every one of those numbers are connected.  Bigger number, more connection.  More connection, more eyes on your product.  More eyes on your product, more sales.  More sales, more fans.

You've no doubt noticed that every product on Amazon has a sales rank and that many categories have hot sales lists.  But there's also more.  The product emails Amazon sends to you, the "Also Bought" list under products, the "you might try" suggestions you get after finishing a book on your Kindle to name a few.  All of this is free advertising for an author...we like it...a lot.

But what does it have to do with pre-ordering?

It has to do with pre-ordering because magnitude matters in getting on these hot lists.  Which is why book releases are such a big deal for me.  50% of what I earned off of my writing last year came in the 3 months after FM4 was released.  Because of you fans.  You all ran out and grabbed the new book, spiking FM4 up into the top 5k of all kindle books and spreading it all over Amazon's site, leading new people to try the series, which then spiked FM1 through FM3 up the lists as well.  Incoming wave of fans.

BUT WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH PRE-ORDERING, RALEY?

Magnitude!  Amazon for some strange reason has decided that your pre-order purchases don't accumulate as far as the algorithms are concerned.  Instead they just happen as sold.  Meaning instead of five hundred to a thousand of you super fans jumping at FM5 and buying it in the first week, I'd have some buy it over a three month period, then a smaller flash as the rest picked it up on release.

 This is a horrible plan!  I'd be sabotaging my own career if I let you pre-order.  Those three months never seem to last long enough anyway!  (Amazon has drop off points in the algorithms at 1 month, 3 months and also a penalty if you don't publish anything for an entire year--this last fact is the reason "Meet the Bonnies" was released just in case FM5 took until July)

So how can you be an awesome fan?  Buy the book on release weekend.  Make that release spike magnitude as large as possible.  Then read the book, it's funny.  Don't pee your pants.  If you do pee your pants then change said pants before continuing to read said book.  Also:  adult diapers, you might need them.

Then, after you finish the book and you hate me because you want FM6 and I haven't even started it yet, review the book so all those new eyes know how you feel about it.  Without all the hate and more with the "yay that was funny" though.  Maybe don't mention that you peed your pants either.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

FM5 Really The Last Mini Tease, I Promise

I worked my jaw at those words, thinking on the deeper implications of the titles.  Lakeborn had to be the Lady.  Shadowknife was Samson.  Toymaker was Plutarch.  I was the King of Dirt or the Dirt King.
Better than ‘fucktard’ I guess.
“Got any titles for the rest of my class or am I just special?”
QUEEN OF FIRE.  DEAD PRINCE.  REDWIND.  FROZEN STATUE.  DOG ORPHAN.  THE EVERCHANGING.
“Not bad.  Make sure you call Pocket ‘Fern Thrower,’ he likes that.”
NOTED.

Next week you'll be reading the book at this time!

Friday, May 15, 2015

FM5 Last Mini Tease

"Ask away, little dog."

ONE WEEK!!!

I put release on Friday so you could all read through the weekend if you wanted by the way, aren't I considerate?

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

FM5 Mini Tease #5

“Snappy, but not so scary when I can see your ballsack thinks this room is getting a little too chilly.”

10 Days!

Sunday, May 10, 2015

FM5 Mini Tease #4

Fucking women in my life . . . why they got to be so powerful and terrifying, every single one of them?

We are now officially in the part of the editing process where I'm waiting on the beta readers and starting to get weird "naked at school" nightmares about releasing the novel with huge embarrassing typos.

Friday, May 8, 2015

FM5 Tease #3: King Henry Drives

I hooked a turn into the parking lot with the rent-a-car and slammed on the brakes, barely even skidding out as we came to a stop.  GPS navigator said it would take sixteen minutes, I did it in ten.  Shows what the fucking computers know.  Maybe I went through someone’s yard a couple times to cut some street signs . . . it was an emergency!
Ain’t quite a motorcycle with two uzis and a chick in an American flag bikini on my lap, but at least I got to drive for once.  Rented car with a nerdy black guy, a patrician with a stick up his ass, and a dead woman . . . I’ll take it!
As the car came to a stop, T-Bone gave a little scream—not for the first time—unbuckled himself hurriedly, and rolled his way out of the car as quickly as he could.
Welf followed, swaying to his feet and steadying himself with his stupid ass cane.
Only the dead woman seemed to be in the game, exiting like a perfect lady despite the man’s suit she wore.
I unclawed my fingers from the steering wheel, twisting the keys to turn off the hybrid engine.  Didn’t use any electric cruising on that drive, no we did not!  I kicked open my door and stepped outside.
There was a new dent on the fender.
Wonder what I hit?
“We’re still alive,” T-Bone wheezed to himself.  “Thank God we’re still alive.”

Two weeks!

Friday, May 1, 2015

FM5 Release Date, Cover, and Blurb

Release Date:

MAY 22ND!!!!!

Coverage:
If it's yellow, let it mellow!
Blurbage:

My name is King Henry Price.  Yes, really.  You'd think you'd be over that one by now.  I'm the only freelance Artificer in the Western Hemisphere, crafting and experimenting to make objects of unique magical power.  I'm also a geomancer, means I'm good at breaking metal, glass, and all the other important parts that keeps that box-like house over your head and not crashing down on it. 
Few months back I told my mentor and the money behind my Artificer shop to get lost.  Told her I didn't need her any more.  Some actions have unintended consequences.  Got a new partner now, T-Bone I call him, even if he hates the nickname.  Electromancer, makes him good with computers.  Not sure what makes him good at business, probably being raised by an accountant. 
Rebuilt my shop again.  One little fire-bombing, no big deal, right?  Doing things MY way this time around, rebuilt it as a comic shop.  Even got us a geeky employee at the cashbox knows too much about pop-culture for her own good.  But that's just the front, the fake, the illusion.  Real work is in the back.  Selling artifacts to all comers now.  Vampires, shapeshifters, mancers, don't got no choice. 
Can't complain.  Business is booming.  Life is good. 
Except for those unintended consequences...
Once again:

MAY 22ND!!!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

FM5 Dramatis Personae Sneak Peek

Since the growing cast of characters in THE KING HENRY TAPES will only continue to grow in the future, I decided it was time to add a Dramatis Personae at the start of the books.  Mostly to provide a small reminder for your poor little brains.  It serves as a halfway measure between nothing at all and the Traditionally Approved method of info dump after info dump polluting the first third of every novel, a tactic I loathed as a reader and refuse to use as an author but sparingly.  Especially in THE KING HENRY TAPES with the way time actually moves between books and you needed caught up on what's happened since the last page you read anyway.

Too much dumpage!

But on the other hand I realize that a complete Dramatis Personae has a bad habit of spoiling just who might pop up in this specific novel and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?  Which is why I'm only updating the Personae to the characters we're aware of and what they've done by the end of the last novel.  Spoilers for FM4 if you still haven't read it though, obviously, you horrible fan, you!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

(When we last left our heroes)

KING HENRY AND HIS ALLIES
King Henry "Foul Mouth" Price – Geomancer, Ultra? – The Foul Mouth, Artificer for Hire, Wielder of a World-Breaker, Chosen of Meteyos, the Dirt King
Valentine “Boomworm” Ward – Pyromancer, Ultra – A Recruiter, Ceinwyn Dale’s Heir Apparent, King Henry’s Girlfriend, The Fire Queen
Tyson “T-Bone” Bonnie – Electromancer, Ultra – Electronic and Online Security Consultant, Video Game Geek, Keeping King Henry Out of Too Much Trouble for Ceinwyn Dale
Ceinwyn Dale – Aeromancer, Ultra – Head of Recruiting for the Asylum, The Last True Dale, King Henry’s Former Financial Backer, Friend of Annie B and Ward of Nii-Vah, Likely Candidate to Replace the Lady
Miranda Daniels – Aeromancer, Ultra – A Teacher at the Asylum, The Ginger Nemesis, Valentine Ward’s Best Friend and Roommate
Jason Jackson – Corpusmancer, Ultra – A Recruiter, Best Friend of Heinrich Welf
Estefan Ramirez – Electromancer, Ultra – A Junior ESLED Agent Assigned to Northern California, Married to Debra Ramirez (nee Diaz)
Eva Reti – Sciomancer, Ultra – ESLED Agent, Learning Council’s Fixer, King Henry’s Ex
Naomi Gullick – Floromancer, Ultra – A Teacher at the Asylum, King Henry’s Ex, She Doesn't Like Talking About It
Old Man Price – King Henry’s Dad, Works in a Warehouse, Finally Began Dating Again
Susanna Belle Price – King Henry’s Eldest Sister, Whereabouts Unknown, Last Heard About in Seattle

THE VAMPIRE EMBASSIES
Nii-Vah – Vampire Divine, Mistress of Justice, Guardian of Ceinwyn Dale, Friend of Humanity?
Inanina – Vampire Divine, Mistress of War, the Headless Hunny, Sister and Slayer of the Divine Eresha
Pwent – Vampire Divine, Mistress of Coin and of the Great Bank, Plays All Sides
Moshi – Vampire Divine, Master of Flesh
Annie B – Vampire Baroness, Wears the Shell of Anne Boleyn, Had a One Night Stand with King Henry, Killed Joannie D, Knows the Truth about King Henry Price
Moore – A Gentlewoman Vampire, Assigned to the San Francisco Embassy, Has Trice Crossed Paths with King Henry, Offered Information on “The Fall of Atlas”
Linebacker – A Gentleman Vampire, Security for the San Francisco Embassy
Eresha – DECEASED, Vampire Divine, Slain by Inanina with the Help of Mordecai Root
Joannie D – DECEASED, Wore the Shell of Joan of Arc, Vampire Countess, Slain by Annie B with King Henry’s Help

THE WERE NATIONS
Horatio Vega – Werecoyote – King of the Coyote Nation, a Poly-Were, King Henry’s Brother-in-Law
Jordan Josephine “JoJo” Vega – Werecoyote – King Henry’s Sister, a Poly-Were
Hector Vega – Werecoyote – DECEASED, Vega’s Nephew, Attempted to Kill King Henry, House Burnt Down by King Henry, Accidentally Slain by King Henry at the Auction of Illicit Wonders
Zoey Vega – Werecoyote – Hector’s Maybe Wife At Least Baby Mama
Overcoat – Werecoyote – DECEASED, One of Hector’s Boys
Tatterdemalion – Werecoyote – Assigned by King Vega to Guard Hector, Current Status Unknown
Sharp – Werepython – Vega’s Bodyguard and Enforcer
The Tsar – Wereraven – An Information Broker and Major Underworld Figure
Jarvis Washington – Faunamancer, Intra – Head of the Pitbull Nation, Lying About Being a Were, Officially Recognized by the Asylum
George Joseph “Go-Joe” McKenna IV – Wereotter – Vice President of the Otter Nation, Owns a Club, Total Mega Douchebag

THE CURATOR AND HIS ALLIES
Obadiah Paine – Geomancer, Ultra – The Curator, The Broken One, Thought Dead by the Asylum, Once in Love with Ceinwyn Dale, Wants King Henry as his Apprentice, Seeks to Save the World
Conan Sapa – Corpusmancer, Intra – Gunman for Hire, Kidnaps and Procures Missed or Passed Over Mancer Children for Paine’s Purposes

OTHER POWERS
METEYOS – Dragon – Lord of the Geo Realm, The Killer of Fools, One of the Thirteen, Imprisoned
POUGPAELLIETH – Sawaephim – Templar of Meteyos, Friend of King Henry, Imprisoned in the Geo Realm

Saturday, April 25, 2015

FM5 Mini Tease #2

"I got this shit.  Assuming I can get through the casino without licking the wall for thirty minutes cuz of how tasty it looks."

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

FM5 Mini Tease #1

"I don't hate you because you're rich, Welf.  I hate you because you're an asshole."

Thursday, April 9, 2015

FM5 First Draft is Done

Give me a hell yeah!

So...that took longer than I thought it would.  But, some great scenes in this book.  Can't wait to get your reactions.

For those fans who weren't around last time for FM4 or FM3 (I don't think I had fans for FM1 or FM2) what now begins is Edit Hell.  (after a week off, because i'm pretty close to being committed after that last 30k in one week)

EDIT HELL
1.  OMG I FINISHED IT EDIT - First readthrough of the whole book as you will see it with timelines flipping back and forth.
2.  OMG I'M A HORRIBLE WRITER EDIT - Rewrites and tone fixes, character changes, all the serious stuff.
3.  OMG I'M THE BEST WRITER EVER EDIT - Formatting the novel into an actual ebook formatted novel with pages breaks and "about the author" pages and other boring stuff.
4.  CRITICAL EYE EDIT - where I cut extra fluff, trim phrases to be more succinct, change vague worlds like "thing", etc.
5.  WORDS THAT SUCK EDIT - where I check on a huge list of words I know I use to much and synonyms I know I flub up in the speed of writing.  One of these words is "fuck" believe it or not.  Yes, the release version is less vulgar than the first draft!
6.  KINDLE EDIT - where I load the book onto a Kindle for the first time, this new reading experiences helps me see it anew and helps me make decisions on paragraph length and how the story flows as it looks on the page.
7.  BETA READERS - associates, family, and people I've know forever get to tell me what they think while pointing out how much I suck at noticing typos.
8.  I JUST WANT TO DIE, I HATE THIS BOOK SO MUCH, IF I HAVE TO READ THIS THING AGAIN I'LL NEVER WRITE ANOTHER ONE, BUT IF I DON'T DO THIS THEN SOME ASSHOLE WILL MAKE AN 'AT LEAST RUN SPELLCHECKER HUR HUR' JOKE BECAUSE THEY NOTICED A 'YOU'RE' INSTEAD OF 'YOUR' ON PAGE 405 EVEN THOUGH I'VE GOT THOUSANDS OF YOUR AND YOU'RES IN THE BOOK EDIT - So...self explanatory?

Then we get release.  Edit Hell usually lasts one to two months.  So release in this case can at this moment be estimated to May-June 2015.  As editing progresses I will have a smaller and smaller estimation window, until the release date is decided.

As always with Indie publishing, one of the great parts of it is that the book doesn't sit around for months waiting for copies to be printed and shipped, as soon as it is done, you will have it on your ereader!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Still Alive

Survived my family, survived the flu I got from my family.  Writing, writing, writing.  Not much else to say.  Have 3 and 1/2 chapters left to write.  Just passed 600 manuscript pages (these are shorter than normal pages usually) and 158k words.  Feel really close to the end.  Some resolutions and one climax left to get through!

Then Edit Hell.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Because I will probably be a broken mess of a human being after I push to finish this first draft.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Quick Notes #3

1.  Fuck ants.

2.  Double fuck mosquitoes.

3.  House of Cards Season 3, what a bummer that was.  I was so depressed by how bungled it was that I didn't even get through the whole thing.  Poor Claire Underwood, it took 3 seasons but eventually she became the typical television wife instead of the interesting, captivating, complex First Lady Macbeth I hoped for her.

4.  "Meet the Bonnies" has sold well over 100 copies in two weeks.  This might not seem like a lot, but for a short work it's quite spectacular by my standards.  After FM5 is finally finished and since FM6 will be an epic undertaking (yes, I'm already hyping that book!), I might put out a couple more, not sure yet.  Despite my wish not to work on them I keep having ideas for them.

5.  I had my first new idea for a brand new novel in like five years the other day, how about that?  You might read it in like twenty years if you're lucky.

6.  FM5...still writing.  Writing a lot actually.  Already wrote 3 chapters this month, with 5 to go.  What's the only thing better than Drunk King Henry?  High Out of His Fucking Mind King Henry.  I've split the chapters so much that I can't imagine needing to do it again.  It's a big book by my standards, but it's not filler.  There's a lot going on plotwise.  There's a lot going on characterwise.  King Henry is pretty stretched thin and very much ready to do some punching back.

7.  My grandfather is turning 85 this month.  This requires family commitment and a trip out of town.  I'm also still keeping myself away from the net to try to focus in on writing.  So don't expect another update this month!

8.  New Hearthstone adventure coming, woohoo!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Meet the Bonnies (KH Short 6) Released

Blurbage:
Tyson Bonnie made a mistake. A small mistake, yes, but still a grievous error that will cost him his sanity. His mistake wasn't agreeing to spy on King Henry Price. His mistake wasn't becoming friends with King Henry Price. His mistake wasn't even becoming business partners with King Henry Price.

Tyson Bonnie's mistake was accidentally asking King Henry Price to meet his family.

What was he thinking!?!?
Linkage:

Meet the Bonnies by Richard Raley on Amazon Kindle
Meet the Bonnies by Richard Raley on Smashwords

It's a great little moment in time for Tyson and King Henry.  Like most of the short works, don't expect any huge revelations but do expect some laughs.  Panicked T-Bone is best T-Bone.

As always the Apple and Nook links take a while to propagate through their systems so look for those in one to two weeks.  For now, if you're an addict who must have it NOW, you can buy an EPUB file straight from Smashwords or just do the self-convert Calibre thing yourself from Amazon.

Hope you all enjoy!

Now I need to get back to finishing FM5.

And watching House of Cards Season 3 probably...so close!  Almost here!

Friday, February 6, 2015

FM5 Update Number Billion

So...January kind of sucked.  I was sick quite a lot and didn't get much writing done at all.  When I wasn't being invaded by viruses or bacteria, I was being invaded by pollen, since Fresno has decided to have spring in winter with a pretty large heat wave.  The month ended up being one of my worst in two years.  I even managed to write more in October when I sprained my arm than I did with all the flu.

Good news is that so far February is off to a rocket-like pace.  I finished up the first draft on KH Short 6, which I'm probably going to call "Meet the Bonnies."  It's 50 pages or 13k words long, equal in size to the Welf novelette "Second Take."  I want to do one more edit on it before I give it over to the beta readers, but it looks like it should come out at the end of February or the start of March.

I also did a complete readthrough edit on FM5, fixing some problems that had arisen with characters needs versus plot needs, adding in some flesh on those first draft bones and the like.  I ended up adding about 5k words to the whole book just with that, which isn't out of the ordinary.  Generally, I always figure on adding about 10% to my first draft word count on my first look through it, since my first drafts are usually dialogue heavy.

Since then I've also finished a new chapter and am halfway through the next one.  Although I had to split the last chapter...so we're up to 23 chapters total now...so...it all about evens out.

I've updated the estimation on the length of the novel to 160k words.  Which means it's a big one by my previous standards.  Way bigger than I thought it would be.  I always knew we would get to this point where the mainline wanted to be it's own novel and then the school timeline was added to it, making for some big books, I just thought we would make it to FM6 before that happened.  But no!  FM5 wants to be a big boy too!

Which is fine.  I'm very happy with the novel as it is at the moment.  It is probably the most "bridge" novel in the series, showing the results of choices in FM4 and leading up to big problems in FM6 and beyond, but it also has a lot of big events in it and sees a ton of characters introduced into the mainline from the school timeline.  It could also be the funniest book I've written, since Drunk King Henry is best King Henry.

Anyway, I'm done torturing you for now.  Take away is that I'm writing as fast as I ever have, it's just a big book and we'll get there soon.  I'm purposely staying off the net to focus, so it might be another month until I respond to any questions, but don't hesitate to ask as always!   

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Quick Notes #2

1.  I've been fighting with an issue in FM5 for the last couple weeks revolving around character versus plot needs.  I figured it out last night, so the INEVITABLE MIDNOVEL FREAK OUT is over, yay!

2.  FM5 is 106k words long, with 16 chapters drafted.  8 of that is school story and pretty solid.  8 of that is mainline and still needs some work.  There are 5 and half chapters left to write as outlined but I could see the need to add one or two if the story outpaces the outline as it has continually done for this novel.  This will be the longest novel so far by quite a bit.  Mostly because there's a lot of good stuff inside of it.

3.  I'm sick at the moment, I don't write King Henry when I'm sick (it taking a certain mindset that is hard to get into when your nose is dripping and your lungs are rattling), so don't expect the updates to move much for the next week or so.

4.  The plan is to do a readthrough/edit of the mainline going into the next writing session.  Some big events are about to go down, really looking forward to it.

5.  Awesome Games Done Quick just started today.  It's a bunch of speed runners getting together and running video games for charity over the course of a week.  Give it a watch, it always has some awesome moments, especially the 4 way races:  http://www.twitch.tv/gamesdonequick

1/14/15 EDIT:  Mostly better and back writing.  Working on KH Short 6 at the moment.  T-Bone's imaginary version of King Henry is perhaps more outlandish than the real thing.  But just barely.