The Betrothal: Meet Tad

I decided it wasn't fair that THE BETROTHAL was getting absolutely zero pimping from me, so here's the first of a series of excepts to come out this month.

Meet Tad

“Got any new ones?” I asked and instantly regretted the good manners my mother had whipped into me. 

“Nah, man.  I got too many, and they’re kind of breeding now, so I don’t want to introduce a new species that will start eating the little ones.”  See my point about how gruesome fish are? 

“Does that happen often?” 

“Well, it’s not like you’re standing here and suddenly there’s a feeding frenzy with sharks gnawing on tuna heads,” Tad defended. 

I followed him into his bedroom.  “Basically you go to bed at night and when you wake up some of the smaller fish have gone off to see the Big-Fishie-in-the-Sky?” 

“Exactly.  I mean, there isn’t even any blood.  Just the occasional floating fin…they don’t like eating the fins.  And you got the mini pool-scooper for that, don’t even have to touch it.” 

“Why couldn’t you have gotten a dog?” 

“You find me a dog that glows in the dark and I’ll buy one,” Tad said as he started packing his duffle-bag like suitcase with clothes and bathroom supplies. 

“With the miracles of science, you never know,” I continued, looking at the silver shag-carpet like I was worried I was going to step on something squishy.  “…you know they made pigs glow?” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah…green…like nuked bacon...or like those green tube-lights you crack at raves or in caves.” 

“That’s awesome…you know you rhymed, been writing any poems?” 

I ignored him.  We both knew from several badly written love poems in high school that couplets were not my thing.  “I don’t know why they did it, but yeah, interesting stuff.  The pigs, not the poetry.” 

“Would be useful is bed, could turn the lights off and still see what you need to see.” 

I chuckled…only Tad.  “Why do I have the feeling you use glowing condoms?” 

“That’s for the reminder, man.” Tad snapped his fingers and threw a jumbo-size box of condoms into his suitcase. 

“You really need the whole thing?” I asked. 

“Yes, I really do.  Just in case…” 

“Expecting many buses of cheerleaders in Utah?” 

“You can never be too careful, man.  Them cheerleaders will sneak up on you.”  He grinned at me.  Tad’s good at grinning.

You can read more about Tad's wisdom in THE BETROTHAL: OR HOW I SAVED ALAN EDWARDS FROM 40 YEARS OF HELL by Richard Raley, available at Amazon and Smashwords.