Extended WTEAW Tease

Currently editing about 120 pages I printed up to have something to do while I heal up.  Thought I'd share some!

A whole weekend to myself.

No more inevitable crises.

No more petty squabbles.

Every teenage dream, adolescent nightmare, and all that happened in-between.

Just me and my ol’ stomping grounds.

Unchained.

Too hot for TV.

Bigger, longer…wait…nah, still six inches.  Uncut?  Nope!  No elephant trunk coving this boy’s pee-hole!

Consider the King Returned, Bitches!

Where the elf women at?!?

Ain’t any.  Not outside of some randy collectable cards Russell Quilt keeps locked up in his desk drawer.  Miss Foster probably ferreted them out and burned the smut by now.  No, Sweetie, don’t do it!  Fiona Flamecrotch is worthy fifty dollars!  Mrs. Quilt, rather.  Somehow my epic bachelor party with the stripper bus hadn’t derailed proceedings, so I suppose randy elf cards ain’t gonna lead to divorce neither.  Been over a year of newlywed bliss from how Quilt talks and scuttlebutt says they took a long vacation a month back to try to sew their first little bundle of patchwork.  No word on if they succeeded or if randy elf cards were used to help the process along.  I’m not wearing those ears again, Russell!

I mean, even if elf women did exist, not too likely they’re letting my short ugly ass see that grade-AAA immortal elf coochie anyway.

Dwarf women?

Fo’ sure with the dwarf women!

Not talking little dude kinda dwarf women neither.  Talking the kind that’s stockier than Romanian shot-putters and hairier than any Armenian girl ever existed, even Khloe Kardashian.  Dwarf women, the original gold diggers!  Look at the bushy beard on that one!  You see the braided nipple hair tassels she got going?  And that trunk!  Look how muscular and square it is!  Forget cushion for the pushin’, give me ridges for the grippin’!