Edit Pass Done

325 pages down.  Pain has been up and down, but down is miles better than it used to be.  Feeling a bit better for the first time in two years I didn't quite realize just how much pain I was in until now.  The pain I'm in typing this would make most whimper their way into bed for the day and I'm just...well, could be a billion times worse, so grin and bear it!  You don't understand spinal pain until you've experienced spinal pain and you might not realize how much pain you're in until it's let up...probably why when I always tell doctors I'm at is probably just a 7 or an 8 they just look at me like I'm a fucktard.

My mind has been spending a lot of time processing what it's been through now that it has the extra emotional space to decompress and I know others have it far FAR worse, but I've been fighting serious feelings of frustration and also...I guess...betrayal.  By who?  I don't know.  My body?  The Universe?  Who knows, but it's been a battle to shake.  We're also coming up on the three year anniversary of my Grandfather's death and the anxiety and dread and general melancholy seems to rise for June every year since.  It helped a bit to suddenly realize that's why my mood has been so sour (it always sneaks up on me somehow!), but it also hasn't completely been conquered.  It's better than it was last year and the year before that, so...that's another type of healing I'm going through, I suppose.

Still not sure how my spine will react to prolonged typing, so the next week will be very experimental as I figure this out.  Maybe the next two weeks even.

Pain doctors are also up and down on whether I can get the burnination done six months after the last instead of waiting until next year, since it's on a different level (Cervical vs Thoracic), so might get that relief sooner rather than later, depending on how the insurance has it all worded.  Won't know more until next month, but we're talking October instead of January if it does go through.  They've also put me on low dose tramadol for the pain finally, just to cover all the spots they aren't burning, but insurance is making that extra difficult too and I've been waiting six weeks now for all the authorization to get finalized.  The one week I was able to really write decently in 2022 was when I said 'fuck it' and popped those one day right in a row, so...that could be another tool towards productivity.  Obviously I don't want to, but...God it would be nice to be able to sit in a chair again!  Much less get out of this house for something other than a doctor appointment...

To summarize:  doing better, actually got some work done, might get some NEW work done, but it could all implode at any moment if a few nerves decide they're not going to be team players, so...day at a time!  Huzzah!

Hey, look at all that I typed!!!

Cut This, Might Be Worth a Laugh

 It would be impossibly hard.

Mostly because Class 2015 respected and admired me and sought my praise.  They’re teenagers, they’re supposed to be antisocial and shit, what the fuck is wrong with this upcoming generation?

Always being connected to society for every waking moment, constantly being judged for every action by every person they’ve ever come into contact with and millions upon millions of strangers, with the Sword of Damocles hanging over their head if they make the slightest, little mistake they’ll be digital stoned and left as a pariah?

Nope, it has to be porn!

Or the existential threat of Climate Change making existence largely pointless and procreation a recipe for their grandchild starving to death once all the crops wither and fail and…the dolphins commit mass seppuku with severed swordfish heads or some shit?

No!  No!  It has to be the video games!

Video games and porn!  Especially videogame porn!  They make that, right?  You…do you know any good ones?  A…a friend was asking about it, ya know?

Second/Right Side Procedure Tomorrow

 C7-C8, T1-2 is what they settled to work on.  Pain in the left side has been far less since last week, but I don't think it's ever going to be quite as complete as what the burnination provided in my mid back.  Still, it is an improvement and I've managed to edit 40 pages so far this week.  40 is a lot more than zero, obviously!

Still not sure how much actual full on typing I can do, probably be a couple weeks before I know for sure.  Going to be a lot of experimentation with positions and different keyboards and dictation and all of the above to figure out what works and what kind of pace I can keep at without exploding all my other problem areas.  Who knows if they might want to do another procedure lower down to help him my spasms and cramps or maybe put me on another medication, we'll see!

But, yeah, 40 pages isn't nothing.  280 to go and then we'll see about getting into new material again!

On Demand Printing Price Increase INCOMING

Just wanted everyone to know that Amazon is rising the print prices come June 20, so they've set up an option for authors to automatically keep the same royalty rates with a single button press and I'll be doing so.  Which means if you ever wanted to grab the printed version of the series (expensive vanity decorations that they already are!) now would be the cheapest time to pick them up.  Cheap being relative...especially Pit of No Return...you read Kindle Unlimited I make 7 bucks, you buy $20 print version I make 1 buck!  Does it make any sense whatsoever?  NO!!!

Anyway, if you need some really expensive doorstoppers, they'll be even more expensive next month, so plan accordingly.

Another Step On the Road

Got through post-op.

Really sucky news:  the insurance only allows one burnination a year, since most people generally only have one spot on their spine that's problematic, but for me with Question Mark Corkscrew Rattlesnake monstrosity...it's a pretty shitty policy.  Instead I'll be getting spinal steroid shots every three or so months going forward in that upper bad spot (C7-T1) until they can refocus the burnination up there.  It's become very clear with the mid back pain removed (T6-T9) that it's the upper spot of my not-so-hunchback that's pushing all the rest of the pain and not that peak part of the scoliosis curve in the mid back, so we have a much clearer picture...it's just the "best shot" wasn't actually the best shot and they're stop-gaping until they can take another.

Slightly Iffy News:  So...my dance card is very full again for May with the possibility of eight different appointments since for some stupid reason I also scheduled my yearly physical, dental cleaning, and EOE endoscopy for now too...so...just...fuck Past Me!

Good News:  even though the shot missed the big bad, it still killed a henchman.  My pain is a lot better in that spot.  So we know burnination works.  Don't know how much straight typing I can do, but editing and learning how to dictate is in the wheelhouse now that my general pain isn't just making me miserable all day long and I'm in no mood to be creative.  I know it's not what you fans wanted to hear and I know it's not what I hoped for, but after years of this lingering and then exploding we are fighting back, it's just a slog until we turn the tide and hold the nerve-hordes at bay.

May my next post after the injections have nothing but the good news!