Not Gonna Tempt Fate With Good News Claims

But...7k written in the last week.  Including a trip to the dentist that's had me feeling sore as hell the last three days (chairs, car seats, and generally my spine being pressed against any material that isn't a bed are my biggest enemies still!).

For comparison, through the massive struggles of this year with pain, plus getting all the burninations and procedures done, I wrote a rather pathetic 25k in total.

HUGE improvement.

Right on the edge of the halfway point.  Then we're time skipping to just before the winter break and then the next chapter, the Winter War starts.

Loving every minute of writing again, even if I'm having to do it on a stupid phone.  Million times better than not writing at all!  Am looking forward to giving typing a try post the C7-T2 right side burnination in a few weeks however.  Actually, I'll probably need a month for it to work...so say start of February-ish?

Also, we have to see how my body/back handles the marathon of finishing this novel.  7k a week is solid, but I need about fifteen? more weeks of that to finish.  Plus Edit Hell...will NOT be able to put in the usual 20 hour days for a month straight I  pulled before, so that could take much longer.

Burnination #2 Part B

Second week of January I'll be getting the right side done C7-T2.  Left side feels a ton better now.  Still have some muscle weakness in the wrist and fingers so I'm not able to abandon my trusty wrist brace quite yet and typing might not feel like someone is slamming a knife repeatedly into my left shoulder now, but it's still uncomfortable.  I typed about ten pages of edits in a few days ago and it took about three different sessions with breaks in-between.  Maybe some of that is the right side leaking over and all that pain will dissipate after this is done, maybe I'll need some physio to build the muscles back up, but considering before the procedure doing something like that would've had me whimpering for two or three days, it's a huge improvement already.

Also I went out to the doctor and grabbed some groceries after yesterday and...I'm just kind of sore instead of wanting to die right now, so that's also pretty huge.

I've been writing a pretty good amount on the phone.  More than I could before.  One day I literally just predictive texted my ass through a whole scene setting up two different back stories I've been looking forward to share for years.  Up to 117k words now.  Or 425 manuscript pages.  Still working on the big halfway point moment (2015 Camping Test).  Big problem is...how do you make it interesting while KH can't actually take part in it?

Going to see how it plays out over the next few months, but if this keeps getting bigger and bigger I might just split it, publish what I have, and have the War to End All Wars half (2016 Winter War) be a second novel.  Or maybe I'll just publish a thousand page monstrosity, we'll see.  If I split it, I'll piss off people that want a "full story".  If I don't split it, I'll piss off people that think it's too long.  If I hack 1/3 of the novel out in editing, I'll feel horrible about killing my beautiful babies.

Really no winning.

So I'll just do what I want, neener neener!

Quick Update

Feeling better.  Already a lot less pain on a left side of my back into my shoulder, arm, and hand with what should be two more weeks of improvement ahead.  Still have grip strength, muscle weakness problems with my wrist and fingers though, might need to wait for physio to get help with that.  Did a full edit of the last 30 or so pages I wrote a couple months back.  Started writing new material on my phone today.  Just doing what I can again.  So far, so good.  Still don't have a date for the right side burnination because of the holidays, should know more at the start of next month.  3 doctor appoints right in the first week of December then I should have more freedom through the end of the year (assuming they don't schedule the burnination immediately).

Happy holidays to everyone if I don't update before the end of the year.

Burnination #2 on Friday

I still don't feel any pain in the spot where they did it the first time around (T6-T9) and since this area (C7-T2) is where everything is emanating out of, this could be a massive improvement.  The temporary branch block gave me two months writing at 10k words a month.  If the burnination manages at least that for the 1 to 2 years its suppose to last, then...eventually we'll have books getting finished again.  I'm hoping for a bigger improvement, obviously, since burned nerves should trump a temporary anesthetic.  Big month in turning the tide against all this pain for sure.  Since they start with the left side then in two to three weeks do the right side, it will be a month long ordeal, with about a week in bed after each procedure.

So wish me luck, send the good vibes, and all that!

Update:  Back home.  Very sore and lots of pain.  But it's in the right area of where my worst pain has been up until now.  Upper back then up into my neck, my shoulder, and down into my elbow and wrist.  So that's a good sign once things flip around.  Icing it down, drinking plenty of coffee, and got about twenty seasons of TV I finally need to get to.

Backpack Battles

 Anyone else got a new addiction to this game?

My doctors have completely overloaded me with appointments in the last couple weeks (will be 6 appointments between Oct 12th and Nov 3) and I'm just...like beaten down with a screaming back at this point.  Tramadol is literally the only thing keeping me standing.

Or...sitting on the edge of the bed playing Backpack Battles.  Which I can't stop playing.  It's especially great for my crippled ass since you only need to use a mouse to control everything and it's untimed.  Basically an inventory management, crafting/item combiner, auto battle game.  There's only two classes at the moment, it's nothing but a demo actually, not even early access.  So it's FREE (on Steam).  And I've put in like 30 hours already getting both classes into Diamond Rank, and...it's really good.  Check it out.

So My Uncle Ben Died

He was less about the "with great power comes great responsibility" and more with the "hey, try this homemade wine I brewed up" or "so I caught myself on fire last week, can you believe that shit?!?"

Fought with alcohol his whole life and it finally got him.  Like his father and his father before him, go Team Irish!  Never knew when to stop for just about anything else, including telling one story after another that would have us in stitches.  Made many a holiday extra fun for me growing up.  One of my earliest memories is him dressing me up in a tuxedo for me to be the ring bearer at my cousin's wedding.

So it's not this crazy shocking thing, but it was sudden.  It wasn't cancer or some problem we were expecting.  Just us wondering why we hadn't heard from him in a couple days and finally news today that his apartment neighbors had found him just now.  It's all very fresh, so no idea how tough things might get with my poor mom.  I'm okay, I think.  Sad, but...seem to be okay.  But, another crucible to deal with here in Raley Land.

I've picked up another couple stupid things to do with doctors pre Burnination Two, Electric Fuck You Nerves.  Which is why I'd planned to write this blog post today before all this happened.  Writing a little bit here and there, nothing crazy.  Did come up with a FUCKING AMAZING IDEA that ties like 2 or 3 plot lines together.  But, uh...it's not until like FM9ish you're going to get the payoff for that.  So...I mean...I might be laying the groundwork in War to End All Wars though...so I look all smart when you get the reveal and all that.  I would NEVER do that...in the first few chapters of the entire series for something that won't be revealed until the last few chapters of the series...as an example...

Or did I?

If only I got paid for rereads...

Love you all, stay safe, talk to you all post Burnination.

Burnination #2 Incoming

C7 to T2 spinal ablation.  Middle of November.  If it provides the same relief as the first, in a more needed area, it could be pretty huge to my quality of life, pain reduction, and of course...writing output.  Just like last time, we're talking about a month long process of getting one side of the spine done, then two weeks recovery, then the second side, then two more weeks recovery.  So we won't see the full effects of all this until probably around Christmas.

Until then I'll just be managing what I can manage texting out on the phone for the most part.  Only managed a disappointing 5k words in September.  Why, you ask?  You were so hopeful, RR!  You had three free weeks!  Did you waste your time playing the new Hearthstone Battlegrounds update?

Yes, yes I did!  At night, when the house finally cooled down because the day after I posted that last hopeful message my almost brand new just installed two years ago AC stopped working.  During Fresno's last big heatwave of the year!  Why did it stop working?  Because Fresno is a horrible, inescapable vortex of evil!  Also a dustbowl since our last drought.  It clogged the blower motor so bad it shorted out and NO COLD AIR.  Did they have the part ready?  NO!!!  Are you not paying attention to my luck lately, Noble Reader?!?

So...instead of getting all that free time writing, I spent about two weeks sweating profusely and drinking large amounts of Gatorade in a nearly completely dark room all the hopes of avoiding another bout of heat exhaustion.  Which I did!  Yay me!  But...not much writing done.  Just me and the television...oh, I started reading Tony Hillerman because he's my Mom's favorite author and she guilt tripped me into it.  Point is this:  three weeks free became one week free.

I don't think I get to post positive thoughts about my writing again.  I think the jinx is very real.  I think some other author got so jealous of how awesome I am they did some voodoo shit.

So...life is Paine!  Woah is me!  I bow before you Great Blighted Potato who wiped out so many of my ancestors!  Give me mercy and mediocracy!  I pledge to the Way of the Grasshopper!  Ignore the next two weeks until my next doctor appoint, nothing will get done.  Ignore the whole month after that with nothing until the burnination itself.  Don't worry, there will be no progress!  I will play nothing but Football Manager!  I'm not at all interested in who wins the 2015 Camping Test as King Henry gets to watch on behind the scenes!  No, no!  I have no interesting ideas at all!  Writing?  So boring!  All I care about is sixteen-year-old Brazilian wonderkids!

You guys think...you think the Potato bought it?

First Edit as Red Ink

Yes, I ran out of room.  The circled numbers are for corresponding paragraphs on the back of the page that you can't see.  There will probably be four or five more versions of this section before I get to the final one that will be published.  I suppose you can consider this a tease for you maniacs that want to try to decode it...

As far as new writing, after a dreadful back half of August and start to September, I am free from doctors (and the car drives to their offices that destroys my back for two to three days) until the 27th.  Hopefully I'll have second burnination plans made then.  But until then, I have 3 weeks free to try to finish this chapter and start in on the second half of the novel.

Wish me luck!

Fan Question/Discussion: Biggest Laugh in the King Henry Tapes

So I choked on a bit of breakfast and for some reason the Valentine "small throat hole" joke has bubbled up out of my memory and been making me chuckle all morning.  I've probably asked before, but it's likely been years at this point, and its good for an author to know what pleased the fans, so:  what scene or joke made you laugh the hardest?

Bit of a Slow Down

Printed out what I had of this chapter and gave it a solid edit.  Easier on my back, but takes a lot longer this way.  Though its a lot funnier seeing pages covered with red pen than doing everything on the computer.  Maybe I'll take a photo of one and upload it for you lot, so you can see the absurdity yourselves.

New version of the chapter is much better, really like it.  Great humor, hits some more important character points.  Once I get back to it that will take up to the midway point of the novel.  We  just went over 400 manuscript pages or about 110k words.  Technically, I suppose I could release it as its own novel, but you'd hate it since it doesn't really have an ending.  I mean, it would, since there's a key event at that point, but there would be no resolution whatsoever for our plot lines.  It'd be like just reading the FM5 school story as its own book.  Pretty frustrating, I imagine.  I got complaints about the FM5 school story as it was, back when people couldn't instantly get the conclusion in FM6.  This would be about ten times worse.

This week is getting destroyed by doctor appointments, but after August I (so far) have September and the first half of October completely free.  The second burnination might be a go in October, so that might change.  Of course, if it does happen and it works as well as the first one did, then my work pace could drastically improve!

But for now, I'm just trying to get through the heat and the doctors and then we have 30 clear days to chill out.  Although, it's Fresno, so it will still probably be like 98 degrees even in September...

As for entertainment...I read two more Naomi Novik novels, "Spinning Silver" and "Uprooted".  Preferred "Uprooted".  Great read.  "Spinning Silver" had some great ideas too, but it has multiple first person POVs that gets really funky at times, and some of the end is from POVs that are very passive and only added near the back half and I found it frustrating.  If you're going to read any of her work, I'd still point you towards Scholomance, but Uprooted is just a small step behind.

Watched The Bear, very good.  Will give you anxiety like no other show I've ever seen.  I don't usually recommend anime because I know its not many people's cup of tea, but Summertime Rendering is very much worth a watch.  It's in DisneyPlus/Hulu jail, but it's a complete story with only the one season and it's a fantastic ride that I can't really tell you about without spoiling the many, many moments of WTF and Holy Fuckballs.  I suppose I can say that both the heroes and the villains are gloriously intelligent and constantly one up each other in a way that normal living, breathing people would.  They figure things out and then they use it to totally screw you over.  There is an English dub for people who absolutely can't handle subs, no idea if it's any good however.

GOTG 3 great, Secret Invasion stanky balls...

And of course:  THE PREM IS BACK!!!

Return of the Mini Teases

Feeling slight better and writing a tepid but not insignificant 10k words a month, so let's get a little more upbeat about progress being made again!

"As long as you don't remember what I was doing under my desk."  Earned me a laugh.  Closed one box and opened another.  Nope, that was the sex toy box.  "How's your vibrator doing, you need a new one?"

"WHAT?!?"

I picked two up and tossed them back into the other room.

"Oh my God!"

"How about dildos?  You a dildo gal?"

"Don't you dare throw a used dildo in my direction, King Henry Price!"

"I'm not a monster!  They ain't used...I think.  The vibrators are definitely not used, since they're still in their packages.  You know how much those things are worth at this place?  Especially during evaluation week..."

Better Ideas Can Be So Soul Crushing

Part of it was a better idea, another part was the writing just not being that good to start with, but I threw 3000 words worth of work into the trash bin yesterday.  Before...that's like a day, maybe two days worth of work, with the new normal it's more like a week.  So...it hurt.  I just feel kind of mentally crushed today because of it.  I do think the book will be much stronger for it.  It's not some major huge altering change, but...it does focus this one chapter a lot more.  It's something King Henry would very much do to someone and I think you'll all enjoy it...

It's also made me realize I need a chapter split.  War to End All Wars has by far the most chapter splits I've ever experienced moving from Outline to actual Novel before.  Some of this is the total session count being limited because they carry across the series, so I really stuffed them ful.  Another part of it is just me typing something like "KH has Breakfast with Welf/Hope+Old Mancy Crew to Antagonize Them" into the Outline that turns into a 10k scene by the time I end up writing it.

I have a very good sense on the session I'm working on now and it actually is OBVIOUSLY the midpoint of the novel, so we finally got there, kiddies!  Feel like I'm starting to get a handle on the story and the characters and what's going on.  I can see the end on the horizon as long as everything keeps improving with my body.

Pain wise I'm starting to feel not totally horrible.  I can very much over do it and I can't lift anything and sitting here typing still has an upper limit before my back starts screaming, but its a lot better than I've felt in the last 18 months, that's for sure.

The biggest problem right now is probably the heat.  At a certain point, you have so many 100+ days in a row, you just don't have the energy to think.  Yeah, the AC does its best to make things survivable, but it doesn't always feel like the kind of life you can tolerate.  75 degrees at 3AM is probably the worst part of the Fresno summer.  You can't ever open those doors because what's the point when it's going to be 80 degrees before you even have breakfast.  You're just stuck inside, no fresh air, muggy, judging if your cat is really cute enough to keep on putting up with his fish farts for another day.

One of these days I'll have enough, Sherburt!!!

July 25th Edit:

Longtime commenter Treydog (and new to the beta team for Everlasting Dilemma) threw his hat into the ring and published his first novel on KDP.  I can't speak to quality because he just sprung it on me out of nowhere and my TBR pile is a disaster at this point with like full unread Hobb and Abercrombie trilogies just sitting there judging me, but I do know it's YA...so...not as much cursing as the King Henry Tapes, I'm guessing.  Epic fantasy as well and Welsh-ish? names...so...we have established that I am not good hype man!

However, I know how miserable it is to get views as a new KDP author, so here's the link for you to peruse:  Challenge Accepted by Stuart Maher and Peregrine Anish

Blurbage:

The time for heroes appears to be past. Over 20 years ago, Trey ard Sliath and Serene na Ridire defeated the greatest threat their world had ever known. Then, they settled down to raise their families.

What do you do if you are a child of one of those legendary figures? Especially if you are naturally talented with weapons like Serene's daughter, Athynae? Or unable to use a sword at all, like Trey's son, Athlain?

And what happens when you discover that there are still enemies to confront and threats to be faced?

For Athynae and Athlain, there is only one answer. Challenge Accepted.

It's Hot

Just still slowly experimenting and doing what work I can, resting the back and wrists as I need to.  Tramadol finally got approved and its helping a lot with me getting around and not being in PAIN pain so much as SORE pain for huge chunks of the day.  Fresno summer is here, looks like 100+ for the rest of July.

Started the last scene of this session.  This is pretty much the midway part of the novel.  So...if you remember the way the school stories worked in FM5 and FM6 as a kind of double feature, this is similar.  First part takes place at the beginning of the school year and has lots of set up and then we rush forward and the second half takes place later in the year (this time around the Winter War) as everything wraps up.

Don't have to see the spine doctors again until the end of August, so more info then on Burnination #2 hopefully.

Outside of that, everyone enjoy your summer!

Early Experiment Results

Still feeling generally better than I have been over the last couple years, if a sore and beat up generally better.  My first attempt at typing was on my back in bed with a detachable keyboard, first completely horizontal and then on my left side.  Managed 1000 words that way and finally finished a scene that had remained in statis for over a year, but I was very uncomfortable the whole time and couldn't walk at all the next day.  Well...I could stagger to the bathroom and the microwave, nothing else.  Followed by zombie shuffling the day after that and my 80-year-old-man impersonation the day after that.  Spiked my pain like 4 points at least.

Experiment #1:  Failure!

1k every five days while I'm in tons of pain in-between just isn't going to cut it or is a situation I'm willing to enter into.

So last Friday when I no longer felt like one of the walking dead, I tried another idea I'd had, which was to lounge in bed and just text everything out on my smart phone's note app.  It's slower than the real deal, obviously, its going to take more editing once it hits the word processor, but...it seems to be sustainable pain wise.  I've written 4000 words this way in the last week, Ceinwyn and Plutarch are currently having quite the conversation with King Henry Jerry Spingering on the sidelines...is this the first time they've really had a scene together?  Can't remember, might have to look it up.

It's not 100% (and Mad Scientist Mode is impossible), but it's closer than anything I've felt since before I hurt my back.  I'm rusty and my writer's mind is struggling to return and War to End All Wars is still an indulgent monster, but...

Experiment #2:  Progress!

Going to keep with this for now and see how it goes.  Been staying away from the computer (either reddit scrolling or card gaming) and just reading a ton of books in bed as my main form of entertainment just to save my back. (btw totally recommend Naomi Novik's Scholomance Trilogy, especially for fans of the magic school aspect in the KHT.  One warning I would give is that the inner monologuing is A LOT...and that's coming from ME.  But I'm loving it so far halfway through the last novel, does a lot of the same things I'm trying to accomplish theme-wise with the KHT, granted in a very different way, also the main character El has aspects of KH and Val thrown together into one person that makes me smile for...reasons...)

Tramadol order is still fubar and still weeks until we know about when the next burnination can take place, so that's where we are for now.  But, ya know...4k words a week or more as I get back into what groove I can manage...that's something.  Still have the dictating setup to try out too and I want to give a go at rigging the detachable keyboard up so it's almost like a vertical triangle where I don't have to turn my shoulders and wrists to type and see how that works.  That's really one of the main differences between texting and typing outside of finger-usage, so it's an idea...

But for now, going with what we got and finally some progress!*

*remember that progress can implode along with my spine at any moment and temper your expectations accordingly!

June 28th Edit:  wrote 5k more and then the back imploded. :(  Did finish the scene.  Will move on to the next when my joints chill out, hopefully in a few days.  This novel continues to vex me for reasons beyond my ills and pains...each session/chapter is averaging about 20k so far.  By my outline I have at least 6 left to write...math is not on my side...

Edit Pass Done

325 pages down.  Pain has been up and down, but down is miles better than it used to be.  Feeling a bit better for the first time in two years I didn't quite realize just how much pain I was in until now.  The pain I'm in typing this would make most whimper their way into bed for the day and I'm just...well, could be a billion times worse, so grin and bear it!  You don't understand spinal pain until you've experienced spinal pain and you might not realize how much pain you're in until it's let up...probably why when I always tell doctors I'm at is probably just a 7 or an 8 they just look at me like I'm a fucktard.

My mind has been spending a lot of time processing what it's been through now that it has the extra emotional space to decompress and I know others have it far FAR worse, but I've been fighting serious feelings of frustration and also...I guess...betrayal.  By who?  I don't know.  My body?  The Universe?  Who knows, but it's been a battle to shake.  We're also coming up on the three year anniversary of my Grandfather's death and the anxiety and dread and general melancholy seems to rise for June every year since.  It helped a bit to suddenly realize that's why my mood has been so sour (it always sneaks up on me somehow!), but it also hasn't completely been conquered.  It's better than it was last year and the year before that, so...that's another type of healing I'm going through, I suppose.

Still not sure how my spine will react to prolonged typing, so the next week will be very experimental as I figure this out.  Maybe the next two weeks even.

Pain doctors are also up and down on whether I can get the burnination done six months after the last instead of waiting until next year, since it's on a different level (Cervical vs Thoracic), so might get that relief sooner rather than later, depending on how the insurance has it all worded.  Won't know more until next month, but we're talking October instead of January if it does go through.  They've also put me on low dose tramadol for the pain finally, just to cover all the spots they aren't burning, but insurance is making that extra difficult too and I've been waiting six weeks now for all the authorization to get finalized.  The one week I was able to really write decently in 2022 was when I said 'fuck it' and popped those one day right in a row, so...that could be another tool towards productivity.  Obviously I don't want to, but...God it would be nice to be able to sit in a chair again!  Much less get out of this house for something other than a doctor appointment...

To summarize:  doing better, actually got some work done, might get some NEW work done, but it could all implode at any moment if a few nerves decide they're not going to be team players, so...day at a time!  Huzzah!

Hey, look at all that I typed!!!

Cut This, Might Be Worth a Laugh

 It would be impossibly hard.

Mostly because Class 2015 respected and admired me and sought my praise.  They’re teenagers, they’re supposed to be antisocial and shit, what the fuck is wrong with this upcoming generation?

Always being connected to society for every waking moment, constantly being judged for every action by every person they’ve ever come into contact with and millions upon millions of strangers, with the Sword of Damocles hanging over their head if they make the slightest, little mistake they’ll be digital stoned and left as a pariah?

Nope, it has to be porn!

Or the existential threat of Climate Change making existence largely pointless and procreation a recipe for their grandchild starving to death once all the crops wither and fail and…the dolphins commit mass seppuku with severed swordfish heads or some shit?

No!  No!  It has to be the video games!

Video games and porn!  Especially videogame porn!  They make that, right?  You…do you know any good ones?  A…a friend was asking about it, ya know?

Second/Right Side Procedure Tomorrow

 C7-C8, T1-2 is what they settled to work on.  Pain in the left side has been far less since last week, but I don't think it's ever going to be quite as complete as what the burnination provided in my mid back.  Still, it is an improvement and I've managed to edit 40 pages so far this week.  40 is a lot more than zero, obviously!

Still not sure how much actual full on typing I can do, probably be a couple weeks before I know for sure.  Going to be a lot of experimentation with positions and different keyboards and dictation and all of the above to figure out what works and what kind of pace I can keep at without exploding all my other problem areas.  Who knows if they might want to do another procedure lower down to help him my spasms and cramps or maybe put me on another medication, we'll see!

But, yeah, 40 pages isn't nothing.  280 to go and then we'll see about getting into new material again!

On Demand Printing Price Increase INCOMING

Just wanted everyone to know that Amazon is rising the print prices come June 20, so they've set up an option for authors to automatically keep the same royalty rates with a single button press and I'll be doing so.  Which means if you ever wanted to grab the printed version of the series (expensive vanity decorations that they already are!) now would be the cheapest time to pick them up.  Cheap being relative...especially Pit of No Return...you read Kindle Unlimited I make 7 bucks, you buy $20 print version I make 1 buck!  Does it make any sense whatsoever?  NO!!!

Anyway, if you need some really expensive doorstoppers, they'll be even more expensive next month, so plan accordingly.

Another Step On the Road

Got through post-op.

Really sucky news:  the insurance only allows one burnination a year, since most people generally only have one spot on their spine that's problematic, but for me with Question Mark Corkscrew Rattlesnake monstrosity...it's a pretty shitty policy.  Instead I'll be getting spinal steroid shots every three or so months going forward in that upper bad spot (C7-T1) until they can refocus the burnination up there.  It's become very clear with the mid back pain removed (T6-T9) that it's the upper spot of my not-so-hunchback that's pushing all the rest of the pain and not that peak part of the scoliosis curve in the mid back, so we have a much clearer picture...it's just the "best shot" wasn't actually the best shot and they're stop-gaping until they can take another.

Slightly Iffy News:  So...my dance card is very full again for May with the possibility of eight different appointments since for some stupid reason I also scheduled my yearly physical, dental cleaning, and EOE endoscopy for now too...so...just...fuck Past Me!

Good News:  even though the shot missed the big bad, it still killed a henchman.  My pain is a lot better in that spot.  So we know burnination works.  Don't know how much straight typing I can do, but editing and learning how to dictate is in the wheelhouse now that my general pain isn't just making me miserable all day long and I'm in no mood to be creative.  I know it's not what you fans wanted to hear and I know it's not what I hoped for, but after years of this lingering and then exploding we are fighting back, it's just a slog until we turn the tide and hold the nerve-hordes at bay.

May my next post after the injections have nothing but the good news!

Burnination #2

Miserable today afterwards, but if it's like the left side the discomfort should plateau about five days in and then I'll get some serious improvement around day 10.  Been sleeping really good, able to stand up straighter, able to sit up on the bed/couch much straighter with barely any pain in the section they worked on.  Shoulders/arms/wrist/fingers and lower back are still problems.  Sitting in a chair, riding in the car, and typing too much...also still problems.

Realistically, I might be able to manage some editing of what I already have in May followed by some dictation of new material.  Hopefully...more, but...realistically...

I'm sure I'll be having a post op pretty soon.  Yet again hopefully about what part of my spine they want to target next.  Higher up would be my preference, since that's where all the important bits are...not that walking without cramps and spasms in my legs isn't, but...the hands let me write and that's what I'll always put first.

I've found a sliver of relief and I'm greedy for more!

Nerves Burninated

In quite a bit of pain as the suckers die off and the poor confused muscles spasm over the mixed signals.  Recovery can take up to a couple weeks (usually doesn't, but it can).  Then we're directly into the right side of the spine and we start the clock all over again.  But yeah, can type this, so there's that!  Tired and thirsty and hungry and...

Anyone else always make these plans where they're like "oh I'll watch that amazing thing I haven't gotten to yet, that's such a good time to have nothing to do!" and then you remember "but...I'm miserable and I like that thing and I don't want to chance my current shittiness dragging it down."  So basically I'm currently surfing every channel/service for shows/movies I think I probably won't like too much but might entertain just a little bit instead of something I know I'll like but am in no mode to enjoy...

Tis quite the conundrum...

4/4 Update:  Still healing.  Had a nice pain lessened weekend and I'm sleeping a solid eight hours for the first time in forever (think it was like 10 hours Saturday actually).  Lots of expansive wild dreams, which means the brain is enjoying itself in some deep sleep instead of getting grumpy about my body whining all night long.

Am having a bit of trouble yesterday/today with leg spasms and pain/weakness in my left hand/elbow/shoulder.  Could just be nerves healing or dying or me feeling the other problem areas of my spine a bit more.  Only time will tell.  Right side burnination is next Friday, so still plenty of rest and recuperation before they toss me around again!

Two Weeks Until the Nerve Burnination

Looks like we're set.  Took a year and a half, with numerous x-rays, surgeons, MRIs, Insurance bullshit, but this is the first hope at real consistent relief, so...here we go!

Step 2 out of ??? Down

Second branch block finished last week.  Less magical results than the first, since most of my pain on that side is lower on the back.  Next week I've got post op with the doctor and then it's probably to insurance hell to try to get the ablation procedure approved.  Maybe I can talk them into giving me another round of trigger point shots while we wait.  Or the Sexy Time Naughty Boy Writing Corset might finally make it's presence known!

Did optimistically format my files for War to End All Wars and Mancy Masquerade and load them onto my Kindle to quickly read through assuming this works...

Slight Misunderstanding of the Process

So they aren't actually doing steroid injections, they're doing temporary nerve blocks to suss out the troublesome nerves and then they'll just skip the whole steroid injection and go straight to burning the buggers.

Had my first last week and my second this week.  The "relief" as it is only lasts a day tops.  For me it was about eight hours.  But what an eight hours!  Simply magical.  Just my hand and arm working perfectly, no pain whatsoever.  Didn't have to wear a wrist brace all day for the first time in years.  Not just the pain either, but the fingers feeling completely as nimble as they used to back before this problem started manifesting...well, almost six years now.

They DID bruise the shit out of my ribs hauling my unconscious post bariatric surgery skin monster ass back into a wheel chair and THAT hasn't been fun, but if the post ablation will feel like that eight hours did for months or years at a time, then that's something very much to look forward to.

Pain Management Road Map

Couple Weeks:  First spinal injection on the left side top end my spinal curve.

Couple Weeks After That:  Second spinal injection on the right side of my spinal curve.

Eventually:  Third spinal injection on the bottom end of my spinal curve.

After that they want to see which injection helps with the pain the most (they believe it will be the top end) and they'll send me back to get Rhizotomy done on those nerve endings (basically burning them either chemically or with some other snazzy science/magic shit).

No word yet on the Sexy Time Naughty Boy Writing Corset, woe is me!

I do feel better.  Typing still hurts and I still can't lift anything, but...it's a little better and when the pain is as bad as it was...a little can be a lot.  Difference between feeling like I was thrown down a couple flights of stairs versus having played a game of rugby the day before.  With really beefy roided up Eastern European women...

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Don't judge my fantasies!

Anyway...should feel even better by next month.  Maybe we can finally get back on track.  I mean it's been so long at this point I'll probably have to start with ANOTHER reread of the material I've written, but...very small problem compared to what I've been dealing with!  Hard to get optimistic after a year of delays and ball punting, but...maybe, maybe, maybe?!?

Some Relief

Met the new pain management team and immediately got trigger point injections in my shoulder and back muscles today.  On the path for epidural spinal shots going forward, but this and a couple new meds should help hold me over for the next month.  Supposedly.  Here's hoping.

Actually in a lot of pain tonight since, ya know, we've come pretty far from bloodletting but poking the patient and asking them where it hurts is still the best diagnostic tool!

Still...first time I've met a group of medical professionals this last year that actually seemed to care and relate and have a handle on the situation, so big props and just a sliver of hope for a more productive future.

Also I might be getting a back brace thingy...

Who's gonna call it his Sexy Time Naughty Boy Writing Corset?

This fuckin' guy!

Small Roadbump

 Got COVID for Christmas, so everything had to be rescheduled.  2022 had to get one last ball kick in!

Anyway, better now, seeing pain management in a little over a week, looks like a very nice place, and I think spine shots will come a couple or so weeks after that first meeting.  Pain hasn't been as overwhelming as it was, so that's nice too.  Still there, but not...stuck in bed type of deal.  Bought a split mechanical keyboard to help with my shoulder placement and ability to write propped up in bed or even lying down.  Haven't pulled the trigger on Dragon yet, cuz...that's stupidly expensive.  But if I have no choice I WILL pull the trigger...

Anyway #2...love all of you still sticking with me, thanks for all the kind comments and emails, good luck in your own endeavors at dodging the plague and hopefully you all enjoyed the blue cat people, since humanity has decided that's a thing again!